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madhatter
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madhatter

Number of posts : 502
Registration date : 2008-02-13
Location : Tallahassee, FL

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PostSubject: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptyFri Jun 20, 2008 7:28 pm

Last year at a writers conference, I had a bit of a disagreement with a fellow on the use or overuse of adjectives in southern fiction. I had him laughing, but I still don't think he GOT me.
So, this year, I have designed a tote bag to take along. It is hot pink with a little cat logo....and it reads....

"A southern fiction author without adjectives is like a warm cathead biscuit without melted creamy butter and smooth sweet cane syrup."

Let's see how many comments I get from the other attendees on this one.

And, yes...I did manage to fit it onto the bag. funny southern tote bag 401565
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Abe F. March
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Abe F. March

Number of posts : 10721
Registration date : 2008-01-26
Age : 80
Location : Germany

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySat Jun 21, 2008 5:01 am

That's quite a mouthful to say. The eating part is difficult to comprehend.
Now don't tell me your mother approved of this. Or did she write it?scratch
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Dick Stodghill
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Dick Stodghill

Number of posts : 3795
Registration date : 2008-05-04
Age : 94
Location : Akron, Ohio

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySat Jun 21, 2008 5:53 am

It should attract attention, no doubt about it. Bet you're asked a lot of questions, especially about cathead biscuits.
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JoElle
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JoElle

Number of posts : 1311
Registration date : 2008-05-09

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySat Jun 21, 2008 6:56 am

Mmmmm. Biscuits .....
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Malcolm
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Malcolm

Number of posts : 1504
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Location : Georgia

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySat Jun 21, 2008 7:42 am

Bad news for makers of those cathead biscuits. The owner of White Lily flour has moved the manufacturing out of the South.

Who ever thought White Lily would be gone with the wind?

Malcolm
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madhatter
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madhatter

Number of posts : 502
Registration date : 2008-02-13
Location : Tallahassee, FL

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySat Jun 21, 2008 7:51 am

That news is just tragic, Malcolm!

Is nothing sacred anymore????
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Shelagh
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Shelagh

Number of posts : 12625
Registration date : 2008-01-11
Location : UK

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySat Jun 21, 2008 8:05 am

A biscuit by any other name would be a scone!

funny southern tote bag 13698
Mention scones and most people will think of jam and cream, but the basic dough is very versatile and can be used for a variety of savoury treats as well.
Simple Scones


  • 8 oz self-raising flour
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 2 oz margarine
  • ¼ pint milk
  • Beaten egg or milk to glaze
Pre-heat the oven to 220C, gas mark 7. Grease a baking sheet.

Sieve together the flour, salt and baking powder. Rub in the margarine until it resembles fine breadcrumbs. Make a well in the centre and, using a knife, stir in milk until the dough starts to stick together. Finish it off with your hands, then turn onto a floured board and knead lightly to give a smooth dough.

Roll out to ¾" thickness and, using a 2" cutter, cut out the scones. After the first cuttings, knead together the trimmings and repeat. Place the scones on the baking sheet and brush with beaten egg or milk to glaze.

Bake for 10-12 minutes until well-risen and golden-brown. Allow to cool slightly on a wire rack then serve warm and thickly buttered.

Southern cat head biscuits:

Ingredients funny southern tote bag Bullet_arrow_up


  • 2 cups all-purposed flour
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 4 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp cream of tartar
  • 1/2 cup vegetable shortening
  • 2/3 cup milk

Directions funny southern tote bag Bullet_arrow_up


  1. Preheat oven to 425
  2. Mix dry ingredients in large mixing bowl
  3. work in shortening with a pastry blender until you have a fine, irregular mixture of small crumbs.
  4. Add mik all at once and stir with fork until dough comes together.
  5. Turn out on lightly floured surface and GENTLY knead dough no more than 12 or 14 times. This is the critical step. If you overknead you will develop the flour gluten and have tough biscuits.
  6. Pat dough lightly until it is slightly more than 1/2 inch thick
  7. At this point you can use a sharp knife and cut into squares or other shapes or use a 2 inch round cutter or empty can. If using round cutter, press scraps together and form a couple of extra biscuits.
  8. Place at least one inch apart on ungreased baking or cookie sheet.
  9. Bake for about 15 minutes until puffy and browned.


    Scones and jam are traditional for afternoon tea (cream tea)

    funny southern tote bag Creamscones

    http://www.joyofbaking.com/scones.html

    The best scones I ever tasted were at the Sign of the Takahe in New Zealand:

    funny southern tote bag Bar_cafe2

    http://www.signofthetakahe.com/

_________________
funny southern tote bag 81KU-cLOw3L._SX110_ funny southern tote bag 41C9GeFDNWL._SX110_ funny southern tote bag 41%2BmGkZJdOL._SX110_ funny southern tote bag 51eDGllZXhL._SX115_ funny southern tote bag 41y7VHKoszL._SX115_ funny southern tote bag 51Zs4N4T4eL._SX115_
Amazon Author Central: Shelagh Watkins
I shall never be old. It doesn't suit me -- ©️Shelagh Watkins
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Pam
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Pam

Number of posts : 1790
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Age : 53
Location : Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySat Jun 21, 2008 8:42 am

Rhett I wonder if you would be taking a couple of cathead biscuits along with you to the conference. That way you could show folks what they look like. Just don't let them eat them unless there is a spot where you can warm them up and do a little slathering.
Great idea about the bag!

Shelagh that little one with the cream and jam looks absolutely fabulous!
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Dick Stodghill
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Dick Stodghill

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Location : Akron, Ohio

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySat Jun 21, 2008 10:03 am

Malcolm, I just hope that White Lily outfit isn't moving to Ohio.
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zadaconnaway
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zadaconnaway

Number of posts : 4017
Registration date : 2008-01-16
Age : 72
Location : Washington, USA

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySat Jun 21, 2008 11:17 am

Dick, they are probably outsourcing to China!

I love your tote idea, Rhett. Should get a lot of attention.

Shelagh, those pictures have me drooling. Pardon me while I dry off my keyboard. Laughing
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Brenda Hill
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Brenda Hill

Number of posts : 1297
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Location : Southern CA

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySat Jun 21, 2008 8:02 pm

Ok, Shelagh. Now I have to make them. That means the oven on and it's 108 degrees here. Darn!
funny southern tote bag 921805
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Pam
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Pam

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Location : Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySat Jun 21, 2008 8:13 pm

Much cooler here Brenda. I think I'll make some too pirate
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Brenda Hill
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Brenda Hill

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySat Jun 21, 2008 8:21 pm

Bet yours will turn out better than mine, Pam.

But I have a question: the photos looks like biscuits, which I love, but the scones I've had were more like popovers with a different texture. Anyone know the difference?
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lin
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lin

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySat Jun 21, 2008 11:55 pm

The only scones I ever had were in a hotel in Hong Kong (also the only place I ever had carrot juice...neither an experience I burned with desire to repeat)

The were conical and very dense, almost like unleavened.

I thought they sucked. The crumpets were better.
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Shelagh
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Shelagh

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySun Jun 22, 2008 1:19 am

Brenda Hill wrote:
Bet yours will turn out better than mine, Pam.

But I have a question: the photos looks like biscuits, which I love, but the scones I've had were more like popovers with a different texture. Anyone know the difference?
I found a way to cheat! Making scones is child's play if you buy a packet of scone mix! Watch this small Irish girl making scones with her mama:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=vk4yMuB0iIg&feature=related

_________________
funny southern tote bag 81KU-cLOw3L._SX110_ funny southern tote bag 41C9GeFDNWL._SX110_ funny southern tote bag 41%2BmGkZJdOL._SX110_ funny southern tote bag 51eDGllZXhL._SX115_ funny southern tote bag 41y7VHKoszL._SX115_ funny southern tote bag 51Zs4N4T4eL._SX115_
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Shelagh
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Shelagh

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySun Jun 22, 2008 6:32 am

All this talk of scones made me bake. This is the batch of sultana scones that came out of the oven an hour ago. The small tester (top left) didn't last long! LOL!

funny southern tote bag Scones10

This is a scone on a plate:

funny southern tote bag Scone10

This is a scone with butter, raspberry jam (jelly) and cream:

funny southern tote bag Scone_10

_________________
funny southern tote bag 81KU-cLOw3L._SX110_ funny southern tote bag 41C9GeFDNWL._SX110_ funny southern tote bag 41%2BmGkZJdOL._SX110_ funny southern tote bag 51eDGllZXhL._SX115_ funny southern tote bag 41y7VHKoszL._SX115_ funny southern tote bag 51Zs4N4T4eL._SX115_
Amazon Author Central: Shelagh Watkins
I shall never be old. It doesn't suit me -- ©️Shelagh Watkins
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Pam
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Pam

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySun Jun 22, 2008 6:38 am

Brenda I think it's partly a matter of definition. Scones in England are scones in Canada, unless you are in parts of Canada where they are called baking powder biscuits and they are essentially the same as what you refer to as a biscuit in the US. The are generally rolled out or patted into shape and baked on a cookie sheet.

A popover is closer to a Yorkshire Pudding and is definately not a biscuit. A popover has lots of eggs (no baking powder usually) and is whipped into a frenzy before being baked in a muffin tin with a little hot shortening bubbling in the botton. They "pop" up like a chef's hat. The Yorkshire pudding actually has fewer eggs and is very close to the consistency of pancake (flapjack) dough, and is poured into very hot fat. it usually forms a "cup" shape that is ideal for holding gravy...or jam.

Depending on humidity, the temperature of the eggs when you add them and the amount of beating you do, the popover and Yorkshire pudding can come out looking almost the same but a popover will still taste more eggy than the Yorshire.

Here's a selection of popovers

funny southern tote bag Popove11


And here's a batch of Yorkshire pudding

funny southern tote bag Yorksh10



Clear as mud, right?

Shelagh your baking looks delicious! Yummy!

PS. I've figured out servimg again. Uh oh.
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zadaconnaway
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zadaconnaway

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySun Jun 22, 2008 7:43 am

The scones I have had here are not as soft as a biscuit, and tend to be just a tad drier in consistency. They are usually sweetened lightly, and have things like currants, cranberries or raisins baked in.

They are delightful! Almost like a small cake or cookie of sorts.

Shelagh--you are an evil woman. I am going to have to come visit just so I can taste your wonderful looking scones! I have been avoiding temptation until now, but it feels like a baking day.


Last edited by zadaconnaway on Sun Jun 22, 2008 9:37 am; edited 1 time in total
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Brenda Hill
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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySun Jun 22, 2008 9:30 am

Loved the video, Shelagh, and your biscuits or scones look wonderful.

Thanks for the explanation, Pam. It does help. I just know I love them both. Still too hot to bake, tho, so will just have to enjoy the photos.
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madhatter
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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptySun Jun 22, 2008 2:21 pm

Isn't that interesting...that scones and catheads are so similar? Makes us all seem a bit more alike...

I did receive a shellac-covered cathead one year for Christmas as a joke. One of my friends from Michigan baked one the size of a plate, covered it with some kind of polyurethane, and mounted it on a plaque. I had it hanging in my kitchen for awhile--until all the little bumps started to grow too much dust.

Life is just full of fun....
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Malcolm
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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptyMon Jun 23, 2008 6:11 pm

Those look good, Shelagh. Fortunately, we have a coffee shop here that offers scones for breakfast. Since they're not the best for my diet, I don't dare add jam on top!

Malcolm
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Shelagh
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Shelagh

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptyTue Jun 24, 2008 2:18 am

Hi Malcolm,

When the scones are fresh out of the oven, my husband prefers them without butter, jam or cream. The amount of sugar I add makes the scones sweet enough to eat without any extra topping. Fresh out of the oven, the scones are crispy on top and soft and crumbly inside but they soften when stored and taste much better with butter and jam ... and cream!

Rhett,

I think you should be Madcatter!

_________________
funny southern tote bag 81KU-cLOw3L._SX110_ funny southern tote bag 41C9GeFDNWL._SX110_ funny southern tote bag 41%2BmGkZJdOL._SX110_ funny southern tote bag 51eDGllZXhL._SX115_ funny southern tote bag 41y7VHKoszL._SX115_ funny southern tote bag 51Zs4N4T4eL._SX115_
Amazon Author Central: Shelagh Watkins
I shall never be old. It doesn't suit me -- ©️Shelagh Watkins
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madhatter
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madhatter

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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptyWed Jun 25, 2008 5:44 pm

Funny, Shelagh!

I actually put scones in the novel I am currently writing....had a couple of ladies ordering hot scones with cream and mango preserves at a high-end Miami Cafe. Your pictures looked so wonderful, I was inspired.
I really should have been a thin woman who needed to gain weight...I could seriously get into that role!
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Brenda Hill
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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptyWed Jun 25, 2008 5:56 pm

"I really should have been a thin woman who needed to gain weight...I could seriously get into that role!"

You and me both, Rhett. It's a shame I took after my paternal grandmother who gained weight just by looking at something good--and tempting. And, it's a cruel twist of fate that cooking is the only household duty I liked.

Still haven't made the biscuits or scones, still too hot to turn on the oven, but I will as soon as it cools down.
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lin
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PostSubject: Re: funny southern tote bag   funny southern tote bag EmptyWed Jun 25, 2008 6:31 pm

My mom again... "You touch those cookies, boy, and you'll draw back a nub."
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