The language may offend some. Just keep in mind that I didn't write this, however the message is clear.
Australian Letter of the Year....
This is an actual letter sent to the DFAT (Department of Foreign
Affairs and Trade) Immigration Minister.
The Commonwealth Government tried desperately to censure the author,
but got nowhere because every legal person who read it nearly wet
Dear Mr. Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe
this. How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and
knows that I bought a television set and golf clubs from them back in
1997, and yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was
born and on what date?
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have
in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is also on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all
those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before
being allowed off planes over the past 30 years. It's also on all those
insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since
1966. Also... would somebody please take note, once and for all, that
my mother's name is Audrey, my father's name is Jack, and I'd be
absolutely fucking astounded if that ever changed between now and when
I drop dead!!!... SHIT! What do you people do with all this information
we keep having to provide??
I apologise, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning.
Between you and me, I've had enough of all this bullshit!
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fucking
address!! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang
of mindless Neanderthal arseholes working there!
And another thing, look at my damn picture... Do I look like Bin Laden?
I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New
Zealand and see> my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether or
not I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? In the unlikely
event I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse,
believe me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the
city, and get another fucking copy of my birth certificate - and to
part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot,
to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?? Nooooo..
that 'd be too fucking easy and makes far too much sense. You would
much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with
our fucking heads cut off, and then having to find some 'high-society'
wanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know
the photo...the one where we're not allowed to smile?! .... you fucking
Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone
in 'high-society' to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in
this country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up
arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!) I have
also served in both the CMF and regular Army for something over 30
years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security
clearances. I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL...
and Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.
However, your rules require that I have to get someone "important" to
verify who I am; You know... someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND
RAISED IN FUCKING PAKISTAN !!!..... a country where they either
assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers - and are suspended from
the Commonwealth for not having the "right sort of government". You are
all fucking idiots!