| | The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis | |
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Brenda Hill Five Star Member
Number of posts : 1297 Registration date : 2008-02-16 Location : Southern CA
| Subject: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:38 pm | |
| I’m back to querying agents and/or publishers since my agent and I had a big difference in opinion on where my writing should go. And I’m discovering more and more that most agents are happier with the tagline and a short blurb.
When I added writer’s tips to my website in 2005, I mentioned a short blurb of one-hundred words or less, but somehow, over the years, I strayed from that premise. To take a look:
http://www.brendahillseaman.com/writingtips.htm
It’s the mini-synopsis paragraph.
Now I’m finding that authors who are getting attention are using the short blurb. Some agents are stressing again they only have time to look at a ONE page query, including why you’re querying them, info about your book, (the tagline & blurb) and your credentials—or info about you. That doesn’t leave much room for several paragraphs. Our own Reagan reminds us about the query in his advice. So I’ve scrapped my three-paragraph blurb and have been working on the short blurb.
Wouldn’t hurt for those of you who wish to attract an agent to do the same.
I know it’s a pain, but it can be done.
It might help if you'd work on a blurb for your story and post it, then we can all offer suggestions. |
| | | Jenny Four Star Member
Number of posts : 531 Registration date : 2008-01-11 Location : Sheffield, England
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Mon Apr 07, 2008 6:07 am | |
| Thanks for the tip Brenda. Having received another rejection today, it' something I'll be working on. |
| | | Pam Five Star Member
Number of posts : 1790 Registration date : 2008-02-01 Age : 58 Location : Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Mon Apr 07, 2008 7:58 am | |
| Aw Jenny, that's too bad. It's easy to say another rejection is a little bit closer to publishing, but the truth is that it stinks. Keep working at it! Brenda your tips are excellent, and I have a feeling you are right when it comes to length. Darned editors, if they would just be consistent, then we could be too and it might make this journey a little easier.Still gut wrenching, but perhaps a little easier! Pam |
| | | Brenda Hill Five Star Member
Number of posts : 1297 Registration date : 2008-02-16 Location : Southern CA
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Mon Apr 07, 2008 9:48 am | |
| Oh, Jenny, I'm so sorry. Had they asked to read any of the manuscript or say 'no' after the query? Perhaps we can fix it.
Thanks, Pam! I have a longer version of the writing tips if anyone's interested. Send an email and I'll attach them. Just took too much room on the website to include it all.
And you're right--no one's consistent. |
| | | Brenda Hill Five Star Member
Number of posts : 1297 Registration date : 2008-02-16 Location : Southern CA
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Mon Apr 07, 2008 9:59 am | |
| To give examples, here's the original three paragraphs:
Lisa Montgomery never learned how to show love. As a child, she was acceptable only if she were clean, composed, and quiet. For most of her forty-three years she survived by keeping her life and emotions tightly controlled. Then, after her husband succumbs to cancer, she discovers her control was only an illusion. His secret life has left her in debt and nearly penniless, and her daughter, instead of offering comfort and support, is judgmental and emotionally distant.
Bitter, Lisa returns to work and meets Gene O’Neal, a retired fire chief who pursues her with a passion that melts her icy façade. She falls in love and learns how glorious true lovemaking can be. Only her troubled relationship with her daughter dulls her new happiness, so Lisa prepares to make one more effort to talk to her, to offer the love she’d always felt but never knew how to express.
When her life changes again, she realizes pain and loss has made her stronger. As a woman who has learned to cherish each moment, she leaves her old life behind to follow her dream, welcoming each tomorrow as a new opportunity for adventure.
Ok. When you consider the intro paragraph in the query, then the tagline, then the three-paragraphs followed by a paragraph or two with credentials and the closing, that's quite a letter for a harried agent/publisher to read. So the one-paragraph makes sense, especially today when everyone seems to be writing.
Here's the one-paragraph blurb. I'm liking it, but always tinkering to improve:
(Tagline)
Beyond the Quiet is approximately 84,000 words, about a woman who, after her husband of twenty-five years dies, finally learns to live.
(Blurb)
Cold, her husband called her. Passionless. After he succumbs to a fatal illness, Lisa wishes she’d been a better wife. Then she discovers his secret life has left her in debt and nearly penniless. In her search for answers, she finds something unexpected and unwanted—a growing attraction to a retired fire chief. When he pursues her with a passion that melts her icy façade, she falls in love for the first time and learns to offer the love she’d always felt but never knew how to express. When her life changes again, she has the opportunity to follow her heart’s desire, but only if she’s strong enough to cherish each moment and leave her old life behind.
Slightly over a hundred words, the blurb comes in at 119. Not bad.
What do you think?
Last edited by Brenda Hill on Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:10 pm; edited 1 time in total |
| | | Jenny Four Star Member
Number of posts : 531 Registration date : 2008-01-11 Location : Sheffield, England
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Mon Apr 07, 2008 10:06 am | |
| Hi Brenda,
This was a personal letter for a change. They'd read the first fifty pages. I quote: While we liked many elements of this project, I just was not as enthusiastic about the story as I would need to be to pursue taking it on for representation.
Please keep in mind that this isa very subjective business and others might feel differently. Therefore, I encourage you to continue submitting elsewhere." |
| | | Brenda Hill Five Star Member
Number of posts : 1297 Registration date : 2008-02-16 Location : Southern CA
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Mon Apr 07, 2008 10:10 am | |
| Ok. That's actually good because the opening chapters can be fixed.
Your writing is on the professional level. We just need to get the opening chapter dynamic. |
| | | Brenda Hill Five Star Member
Number of posts : 1297 Registration date : 2008-02-16 Location : Southern CA
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:08 pm | |
| I reread the three-paragraphs I posted and now I see they're dull, dull, DULL! Nothing to stand out to the agent in a stack of queries. I'm glad I went with the one-paragraph, but I see it needs work as well. For some reason, seeing it posted here offers a different perspective.
We all must remember if we want success:
A query's objective is to entice the agent into reading more. To have them drooling would be perfect, but not sure how to do that, altho I'm working on it! |
| | | Jenny Four Star Member
Number of posts : 531 Registration date : 2008-01-11 Location : Sheffield, England
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:48 pm | |
| Sometimes I feel like a two year old trying to string half a dozen words together!
Your comment was very reassuring, Brenda.
Thank You. |
| | | Phil Whitley Four Star Member
Number of posts : 907 Registration date : 2008-04-01 Age : 81 Location : Riverdale, GA
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Mon Apr 07, 2008 1:47 pm | |
| Brenda, I have studied your "Tips" section and have it bookmarked. I put yours right up there with Stephen King's On Writing, which I only discovered this past year. Since I don't write in any of my books, I made three pages of notes (subject and page number) from his book. His main complaint seems to be adverbs. He hates `em! |
| | | Brenda Hill Five Star Member
Number of posts : 1297 Registration date : 2008-02-16 Location : Southern CA
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Mon Apr 07, 2008 1:58 pm | |
| Well thanks, Brew. You make me blush, but a happy blush.
BTW, I love your new photo. Reminds me of an ol' time mountain man. |
| | | Ann C. Crispin Two Star Member
Number of posts : 40 Registration date : 2009-01-22
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Wed Jan 28, 2009 10:55 am | |
| Brenda, the second example is MUCH better. It's more dramatic, it's more of a "verbal snapshot" of the book, giving the FEELING of the book, rather than trying to encapsule the whole story. I've written a couple of blog entries on query writing over on Writer Beware's blog. I teach a course on getting a real agent for Anne Arundel Community College here in Maryland, and the query letter is beyond essential. Hope the new version brings you requests to read! -Ann C. Crispin |
| | | Brenda Hill Five Star Member
Number of posts : 1297 Registration date : 2008-02-16 Location : Southern CA
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Sun Feb 22, 2009 2:35 pm | |
| I don't know how I missed this, Ann, but thanks. My query and blurb went through more revisions last year before an indie publisher asked for the manuscript and offered a contract.
So yes, the query letter is, like you say, beyond essential. |
| | | madhatter Four Star Member
Number of posts : 502 Registration date : 2008-02-13 Location : Tallahassee, FL
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Sun Aug 16, 2009 6:13 pm | |
| I find the whole act of condensing down a huge pain...but I am still trying to get it down pat. Taking a 85K word novel down to one line reminds me of eating too many pieces of pie and trying to get into a pair of pantyhose. So there...LOL |
| | | Malcolm Five Star Member
Number of posts : 1504 Registration date : 2008-01-11 Location : Georgia
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Sun Aug 16, 2009 7:29 pm | |
| You lost me on the pantyhose analogy, Ms. Hatter.
And I'm thankful for that.
Malcolm |
| | | Brenda Hill Five Star Member
Number of posts : 1297 Registration date : 2008-02-16 Location : Southern CA
| Subject: Re: The Blurb--or Mini-Synopsis Sun Aug 16, 2009 10:25 pm | |
| Isn't that the truth, Rhett!
I don't which is more difficult - the tagline or blurb. Both are difficult to make interesting. |
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