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 Always Please a Woman

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Dick Stodghill
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Dick Stodghill

Number of posts : 3795
Registration date : 2008-05-04
Age : 94
Location : Akron, Ohio

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PostSubject: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySun Aug 02, 2009 10:56 am

A Stodghill Says So blog:
Always Please a Woman StodgatPolk
Jackie said I should write about it because it was the only story I told her in more than 20 years that she hadn't heard before. It wasn't much of a story but it never is a wise move to ignore something a woman tells you to do. Especially if that woman happens to be your wife, so I'll write about it.
The lead up to this story came when for the fortieth time I mentioned a couple of Irish relatives in Connecticut back in the 1920s. The matriarch, the Irish Mammy, made apple dumplings but no one would eat them, including her son who was about 12. He was the only one dumb enough to tell her the apple dumplings were too hard and not fit to eat. So she sat him down and made him eat the whole dozen.
Then we got talking about a restaurant in Muncie where the owner's mother came down from South Bend once a year and cooked spaghetti. It was watery and pretty bad so Jackie said it was a good thing I never said that at the time or Mama would have come out of the kitchen and made me clean my plate. That led me to say it had happened to me in the Army. Jackie said, "You never told me about that," so I told her and she said I should write about it so here goes.
It was at a camp in England where there was a sign like you found in a lot of mess halls: "Take all you want but eat all you take." That was ridiculous because I never was in a mess hall where you took anything. You just walked down the chow line and KPs would slap stuff on your tray.
On the day in question it was spaghetti. Awful stuff not even fit for the garbage can where I tried to dump it. The mess sergeant stopped me and told me to go back and eat the rest of it. I went back to a table, but wouldn't eat. The mess officer came over, sat with his butt on the next table so he could look down on me from a position of authority. They cleaned up the mess hall and everybody left except the officer and me. Hours went by, but I wouldn't eat. Finally about 9 o'clock or a little later the officer stood up, gave me a good cussing and told me to get out. I figured he had a hot date lined up with an ATS girl or something.
So that's it. Jackie wanted me to write about it so knowing which side my bread is buttered on, I did.
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Betty Fasig
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Betty Fasig

Number of posts : 4334
Registration date : 2008-06-12
Age : 76
Location : Duette, Florida

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySun Aug 02, 2009 2:41 pm

Dear Dick,
My David has told me so many stories of his war doings and every once in a while, after 27 years, I hear a new one. I say, like Jackie, "you never told me that story before." I see the light come in his eye and he tells it again. I love that. What power is in the remembering, and what restraint in the tale.

I think, for him, those war things were held so close, never explained in details to anyone. After all these years, he can forget himself and tell small little joys that really had not one thing to do with shooting, dying, or all the hurt involved in that war. I wonder how any one comes out alive, mind or body, in wars. An Abomination, it is.

Love,
Betty
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Abe F. March
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Abe F. March

Number of posts : 10720
Registration date : 2008-01-26
Age : 80
Location : Germany

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptyMon Aug 03, 2009 4:20 am

I have the opposite experience. I get an inspiration to tell a story and I'm told that I already told that one.
It's almost as bad as telling my granddaughter something by the way of instruction, and she keeps saying, "I know, I know."
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Carol Troestler
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Carol Troestler

Number of posts : 3827
Registration date : 2008-06-07
Age : 81
Location : Wisconsin

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptyMon Aug 03, 2009 6:24 am

When my kids and grandkids roll their eyes and I know they've heard the story before, I say they have to hear it a few times so they will always remember it because as you get older you forget things.

Sometimes my kids will get going on stories of things they did while growing up and they'll look at me. I'm listening. I'm listening. Was I really living in the same house? Wasn't I supposed to be in charge and all-knowing?

Carol
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alj
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alj

Number of posts : 9633
Registration date : 2008-12-05
Age : 76
Location : San Antonio

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptyMon Aug 03, 2009 6:46 am

My kids not only roll their eyes, they start humming the tune to "I t hink I've Heard that Song before." Rolling EyesAlways Please a Woman 260738Very Happy
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Dick Stodghill
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Dick Stodghill

Number of posts : 3795
Registration date : 2008-05-04
Age : 94
Location : Akron, Ohio

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptyMon Aug 03, 2009 12:58 pm

Just sing right back at 'em, Ann. Or make some really hard apple dumplings and make 'em eat every bite. You do the same, Carol.
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alice
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alice

Number of posts : 15672
Registration date : 2008-10-22
Age : 72
Location : Redmond, WA

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptyFri Aug 07, 2009 6:37 am

Dick,


Great story! Send our thanks to Jackie.
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dkchristi
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dkchristi

Number of posts : 8594
Registration date : 2008-12-29
Location : Florida

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptyFri Aug 07, 2009 7:05 am

When my son was six, Popeye was a big deal. He opened those cans of spinach and was powerful. My son was in the grocery with me and giving me a hard time because I would not buy him Popeye spinach in the can. I assured him he would not like it, and I'd have to throw it away. Finally I said the proverbial, "If I cook it, you're going to eat it" to which he willingly agreed.

At the appointed dinner time, he took one bite and turned green, spitting out every last drop. Great mother that I was, determined to have him suffer the consequences of the grocery store action, I told him he would sit at the table until the spinach on his plate was gone. Three hours later, he was still sitting there, big tears rolling down his cheeks and not saying a word, the spinach still on the plate.

I finally took it away. He had barely eaten anything else either. He was so sad, my own heart was breaking as I helped him prepare for bed. Popeye was never mentioned in our house again. He's nearly forty, and he's never forgotten. Me either.
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Dick Stodghill
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Dick Stodghill

Number of posts : 3795
Registration date : 2008-05-04
Age : 94
Location : Akron, Ohio

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptyFri Aug 07, 2009 12:45 pm

Just an old softy at heart. aren't you? At his age I was as stubborn about soft-boiled eggs as he was about spinach. I solved the problem one day when my mother was out of the room by dumping the gooey stuff out the window. Unfortunately we lived on the second floor of a frame apartment building that now had a nice yellow streak running down its side.
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dkchristi
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dkchristi

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptyFri Aug 07, 2009 2:23 pm

I'm going to pass that one on to my son!
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alj
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alj

Number of posts : 9633
Registration date : 2008-12-05
Age : 76
Location : San Antonio

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptyFri Aug 07, 2009 4:53 pm

I've spent a few long hours at the dinner table, too, usually for getting caught trying to hide my peas under the lettuce leaf. Alice and I have a lot in common.

Ann
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alice
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alice

Number of posts : 15672
Registration date : 2008-10-22
Age : 72
Location : Redmond, WA

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySat Aug 08, 2009 3:45 am

Dick and Ann,

We are fellow sufferers--the vicitms of over-conscientious parenting.

Pactically every meal caused me to sit alone staring at a plate of whatever I hated--usually peas.

I would in desperation, fill my mouth, sneak outside, spit the contents under our house then return for the next load.

I often wonder why? Why were mothers so driven to make children eat what they hated?

Did anyone find that the thing they were forced to eat was delicious when they grew up?

I am glad times have changed.

I will not allow anyone to make anyone eat anything under my roof.

I say, "If you like it eat it, if not we have a great garbage disposal sytem."

I still have hang-ups from it. I am on diabetic and cardiac diets. I follow them to the letter. I don't even like to eat at people's houses because they will challenge me as to why I am not eating more or why I decline to eat a particular item.

Often what they want me to eat I want to eat and have had to tell myself "No."

Children have so little control over their lives. It is sad their parents can't
allow them to choose what they eat.

Most of the trouble I got in centered around eating or not eating.

My mother was constantly provoked at me because I didin't like peas.

Even when I was a mother, myself she would lecture me about the importance of diet.

Unbelievable!
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Dick Stodghill
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Dick Stodghill

Number of posts : 3795
Registration date : 2008-05-04
Age : 94
Location : Akron, Ohio

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySat Aug 08, 2009 6:21 am

Being forced to eat something had no effect on me whatsoever. Forgot it a minute later unless there was a humorous or unusual twist to it. Seems to me parent have an obligation to make kids eat things that are good for them rather than the junk most kids - and some adults - like. It even provides a lesson on life in general because much of it involves doing things you don't like.
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alice
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alice

Number of posts : 15672
Registration date : 2008-10-22
Age : 72
Location : Redmond, WA

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySat Aug 08, 2009 7:23 am

You are right Dick, I had no junk available for my children to eat. The only thing they could eat , if they wished to eat was good food.
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alj
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alj

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySat Aug 08, 2009 7:27 am

But they were free to choose to eat any or none of the food on their plates, with the understanding there would be no snacking until the next meal when they chose not.

Ann
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alice
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alice

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySat Aug 08, 2009 7:44 am

Right, Ann,

We had mealtimes and snacktimes. I had enough things my kids had to do-- eat was not one of those mandatory things.

In fact, I would eat my food then aim a fork at their plate and they would guard their food like dogs.

Too much time and energy was totally wasted trying to make me eat.

I never learned, and never intend to even try to learn, to like peas.
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alj
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alj

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySat Aug 08, 2009 7:48 am

Neither did I, but my oldest daughter would eat them cold, out of the little silver can, and today she serves fresh ones pureed at fancy dinners.

Go figure

Ann
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Carol Troestler
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Carol Troestler

Number of posts : 3827
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Age : 81
Location : Wisconsin

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySat Aug 08, 2009 7:53 am

The way I figured, it was not buy the unhealthy foods. I was the lady with the money in the grocery store.

I wasn't going to force my kids to eat anything, but my husband sometimes thought we should and created some strange occurrences, like the time he made everyone eat brussel sprouts, and I felt the need to set an example and thought I'd be ill. And then there was the time our middle son put his peas in his brother's milk and another time when he put them in his pocket. (Like the lady who washed the clothes wasn't going to notice? Yuk.)

We do need some fun things to eat once in a while and it is troublesome when we can't have them, Alice.

My husband lives to eat and I eat to live. I eat small portions. However, I love sweets, ice cream, chocolate. I have had to be on diets this past year because of medication. Some of the foods I was supposed to eat on one medication were those I wasn't on another.

Carol
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alice
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alice

Number of posts : 15672
Registration date : 2008-10-22
Age : 72
Location : Redmond, WA

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySat Aug 08, 2009 7:58 am

alj wrote:
Neither did I, but my oldest daughter would eat them cold, out of the little silver can, and today she serves fresh ones pureed at fancy dinners.

Go figure

Ann

Not hard to figure. You didn't turn her against them.

My mother was not content with merely trying to make me eat them.
Sometime she stuffed them in my mouth.
Threatened me with a switch, used a switch if I got resistant.
Ridiculous!
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harry
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harry

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySat Aug 08, 2009 8:06 am

Good story Dick and great order:"Take all you want but eat all you take." Yeah, yes. I want barrow it and use it as the new motto: "Take all you want but eat all you take".
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alice
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alice

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySat Aug 08, 2009 8:45 am

In retrospect, my mother probably did me a good turn by making me abhor peas,

They are quite starchy and thus not high on a preffered food choice list for me.

If I loved them, they would just be on the limited or banned
list anyway.
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LC
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LC

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySat Aug 08, 2009 9:18 am

Alice wrote:

Too much time and energy was totally wasted trying to make me eat.

Your mom sounds like she was a nutter and a control freak. Her behavior, as you described it, goes way beyond "too much time and energy".

In my case, too much time and energy was spent caring about an orderly, clean house. When I started writing textbooks four years ago I let that up, realizing I couldn't keep up with it all. Then I discovered that nobody really gave a damn in the first place.
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Carol Troestler
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Carol Troestler

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySat Aug 08, 2009 9:31 am

LC,

Always Please a Woman 950944

I had that same problem. Oh, if I only had all that time I wasted on unnecessary cleaning.

Carol
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alj
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alj

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySat Aug 08, 2009 9:52 am

When I became a working single mom, I realized that the perfect house was an impossible dream. In my case, my daughters did care, just not enough to be much help. Until very recently, I got a "Why didn't our house always look as good as Nana's? (my mother). After I stopped feeling guilty because it didn't, I just reminded them that Nana stayed home all day, AND had a paid housekeeper to boot.

Once I accepted the idea that children will generally find fault with their upbringing in one way or another, I stopped accepting responsibility for the things I could not control, and stuck to the things I could.

Just wish I'd done that a little sooner.

Ann
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alice
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alice

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PostSubject: Re: Always Please a Woman   Always Please a Woman EmptySat Aug 08, 2009 10:10 am

LC,

My mother was a very intelligent woman--she suffered post partum psychosis after my birth and underwent a trans-orbital lobotomy.

She returned to college and earned two more college degrees, she had one before the catastrophe.

She taught school for many years.

You didn't know this and I wish to portray her fairly.

She was not a nut, but brain damaged.

None of this was her fault--she was a better mother than most people had.

She did not kill me--just made me eat. I am still here yammering about it

A True Ingrate
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