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JoElle
alj
alice
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alice
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alice

Number of posts : 15672
Registration date : 2008-10-22
Age : 74
Location : Redmond, WA

Family visits Empty
PostSubject: Family visits   Family visits EmptyTue Jun 30, 2009 9:48 am

What is the worst one you can remember?

Our relatives used to visit for several nights. We had just enough beds for ourselves to sleep in. My mother-in-law was a gourmet cook. My father-in-law a gourmet eater. I was a balanced meal cook--hence I would fix a potato, have a green vegetable, toss in a salad and a roll, have a protein dish, serve dessert and call it quits.

It was never good enough.

We got a blow up bed for them to sleep on-- the air went out of it.

Finally, one time I received word that they were coming. I asked Dave, "Where will they sleep?"

"Not in our bed."

I bought a hide- a-bed and matching chair to put in the rec room. Only trouble is they wouldn't go in the door.

Dave arrived home to discover the kitchen full of furniture. " Where did that ugly stuff come from? He asked.

"I bought it for your parents to sleep on." I replied.


'Now if you will put it through the window, I need to go grocery shopping."

They hated the hide-a-bed.

Sometimes you can't win for losing
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alj
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alj

Number of posts : 9633
Registration date : 2008-12-05
Age : 78
Location : San Antonio

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyTue Jun 30, 2009 11:53 am

Alice wrote:

Quote :
Sometimes you can't win for losing.

Tell me about it. The worst family visit I remember? Saturday. No. By comparison, Saturday wasn't bad.

The worst? One week after the second worst, which was one month after the third worst. Actually, they are all a toss-up.

Thanksgiving, 1980 - it was our first year living in Houston, my first year teaching. My mother decied to "help me" by coming early. My dad dropped her off and went back to their home to have some (probably delightful) time alone. On the pretense of "cleaning," my mother ransacked my drawers and came up with a stack of old journals and read them, finding out that I had written about her. She didn't tell me she had found them. My dad arrived Wednesday while I was at work. When I got home, my mom was flinching every time I looked in her direction, and every time she flinched, my dad glared at me. They left Friday morning before breakfast, saying they wanted an early start home. Wrong. They went directly to my brother's house where my mother sobbed incessantly that I hated her and had written horrible things about her in my journals. My sister-in-law was, incidentally, eight months pregnant with my nephew. Fast forward to Christmas and much the same story. The morning of the 26th, my parents left early to go "home." I knew that my sister-in-law was due any day, so I called and invited them for a left-over lunch. They had no choice but to tell me that our parents were there, and invite me to join them. I did. Big mistake. By this time, my kids had started their holiday visit with their father, so I went alone. Mom spent the whole time flinching and batting back tears while everyone glared at me. The next day, after Mom and Dad really left for home, my brother came over and berated me for my cruelty to our mother - for several hours. He told me that my parents were so upset with me that they were never going to have anything to do with me ever again. They had not bothered so share this news with me.

Flash forward to the 29th. My sister-in-law goes into labor. I call my parents and my mother starts sobbing over the phone. I'm not sure why. I call them back the next day to tell them their grandson is finally here, after a 24 hour labor and a C-section. I tell them that my brother's mother-in-law is in charge, and has advised them to wait a few days to come to Houston.

Suddenly, I am my mother's beloved, favorite child. She announces that they will arrive at my house later that same day. As they drive into NW Houston, it seems my mother decides that they might as well stop by my brother's house, on the way. As they drive into his drive, my brother steps out and to the car to say that the new mother and son are asleep, so please go on to my house and wait for a call. A few minutes later, mother bursts into my house, sobbing great heaves, and telling me what terrible people my sister-in-law and her mother are, and how she has always loved and appreciated me, her good, good daughter over every one of her children.

Nuff said.

Ann
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JoElle
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JoElle

Number of posts : 1311
Registration date : 2008-05-09

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyTue Jun 30, 2009 12:38 pm

study


Last edited by JoElle on Wed Jul 01, 2009 7:18 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Betty Fasig
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Betty Fasig

Number of posts : 4334
Registration date : 2008-06-12
Age : 78
Location : Duette, Florida

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyTue Jun 30, 2009 12:50 pm

Wow, Ann,
I wish I could have been there with you that year. We could have had a wonderful time, gone to Hawaii or Australia or Mexico, anyplace but Texas.

Love,
Betty
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Dick Stodghill
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Dick Stodghill

Number of posts : 3795
Registration date : 2008-05-04
Age : 96
Location : Akron, Ohio

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyTue Jun 30, 2009 12:58 pm

When we visit someone, which fortunately doesn't happen often, we stay at a hotel. When someone visits us, which fortunately doesn't happen often, they stay at a hotel. It eases the pain.
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JoElle
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JoElle

Number of posts : 1311
Registration date : 2008-05-09

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyTue Jun 30, 2009 1:07 pm

scratch


Last edited by JoElle on Wed Jul 01, 2009 7:18 pm; edited 1 time in total
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alice
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alice

Number of posts : 15672
Registration date : 2008-10-22
Age : 74
Location : Redmond, WA

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyTue Jun 30, 2009 4:25 pm

Dick Stodghill wrote:
When we visit someone, which fortunately doesn't happen often, we stay at a hotel. When someone visits us, which fortunately doesn't happen often, they stay at a hotel. It eases the pain.

I prefer that too, Dick.

Ann, Your mother was a bit snoopy.
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alj
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alj

Number of posts : 9633
Registration date : 2008-12-05
Age : 78
Location : San Antonio

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyTue Jun 30, 2009 4:35 pm

Betty Fasig wrote:
Wow, Ann,
I wish I could have been there with you that year. We could have had a wonderful time, gone to Hawaii or Australia or Mexico, anyplace but Texas.

Love,
Betty

Wouldn't we have had fun? Family visits 986243 Family visits 499995
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alice
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alice

Number of posts : 15672
Registration date : 2008-10-22
Age : 74
Location : Redmond, WA

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyTue Jun 30, 2009 4:47 pm

I do need to turn loose of this, but I was not pleased with my mother-in-law as she sat at the table saying it was such a pity that Alice could not content herself with staying at home and keeping house.

We just had two kids in private schools --I worked 40 hours per week and was about to drop with cooking for them.

I call that gratitude.

Ann, we must get together--we'd have a lot to laugh about.
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alj
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alj

Number of posts : 9633
Registration date : 2008-12-05
Age : 78
Location : San Antonio

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyTue Jun 30, 2009 4:50 pm

And laughing is the best way to handle it, I think.

Family visits 343621

Ann
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Betty Fasig
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Betty Fasig

Number of posts : 4334
Registration date : 2008-06-12
Age : 78
Location : Duette, Florida

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyTue Jun 30, 2009 6:10 pm

Dear Alice,
I worked while my now ex husband went to school, I raised two children, and worked my behind off because, God Forbid! he should have had to do a dish or bathe a child.
We went to Winnemucccccccca Nevada to visit his moooooom. He whined that I never starched his shirt collars or his underwear. SHE looked at me with absolute dirision and said, " You don't starch! Let me show you how."

She unpacked his whole wardrobe, washed it again, put starch everywhere and then wanted me to iron it all again. I got a terrible headache and went to bed. I heard them out there in the kitchen with her smiling and ironing and wondering what the world has come to when a wife would not do starching and ironing collars and cuffs.
I never did do it, either. All be known, I do not care to this day that I did not starch and I will be damned if I iron unless I am making a patchwork quilt. So there! When I think about it this night, I missed quite an opportunity to starch his boxer shorts. That makes me smile in retrospect. Lord how chaffed he would have been. hahahahah

Love,
Betty
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alice
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alice

Number of posts : 15672
Registration date : 2008-10-22
Age : 74
Location : Redmond, WA

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyTue Jun 30, 2009 11:59 pm

Betty,

I iron nothing until I am ready to wear it. My sakes all of the fuss over ironing. Before we left on vacation, good mother-in-law used to volunteer to iron.

Why iron everything then pack it and iron it again?

Some people must feel pious while ironing--I don't and won't.
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Carol Troestler
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Carol Troestler

Number of posts : 3827
Registration date : 2008-06-07
Age : 83
Location : Wisconsin

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyWed Jul 01, 2009 5:00 am

I have a fantastic aunt, my father's sister-in-law. She and my uncle had a house out in a small town in Illinois across from a lake. We would go there on Sundays never knowing who would be there. My grandfather lived there for a while and then there was another uncle and then one time my cousin's old boyfriend's girl friend. My mother and aunt would usually bake a cake, and then we'd have sandwiches and cake for supper. We might play some games or just sit around and talk. My uncle had a boat and the teens would go and attempt water-skiing. It was wonderful. This aunt was a model of the woman I wanted to be. She is 93, lives in Texas and last year was gardening and swimming.

So over the years people have lived with us and visited us and I just copied what she did. She didn't hover or wait on you. She just was, being her self.

I have guest areas, places guests can have their own bedrooms and bathrooms. That was important to me. I have a sign that says "Mom's make your own bed and cook your own breakfast." It works for me.

We have had some bad family times but not especially connected with visits. They occurred when people were passing through. The worst was July 4th, 1976, when my whole support system abandoned me and I stood alone, just me and God.

Carol
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alice
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alice

Number of posts : 15672
Registration date : 2008-10-22
Age : 74
Location : Redmond, WA

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyWed Jul 01, 2009 2:16 pm

Carol, now you have me curious. July 4th, 1976 was almost 33 years ago. You were 38 years old.


The rest of the story please.

I am assuming God was a pleasant visitor and did not complain about your food, beds or anything else.

Did He bring you angel food cake?
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Betty Fasig
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Betty Fasig

Number of posts : 4334
Registration date : 2008-06-12
Age : 78
Location : Duette, Florida

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyWed Jul 01, 2009 3:46 pm

Dear Carol,
When a person looks back upon a moment that they stood in this wilderness that is living and sees that there is not one person standing there by, it is a lone alone-ness. I hope that resembles a word. That moment in time is never forgotten. What spirt is in human-kind that can continue the the desolations!

Then there comes a glimmer of understanding. It comes in little words that are not contrived. It is the understanding of the common trials of living that connect our minds. Also the mirth. We would not make it through without mirth and joy.

Love,
Betty
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Shelagh
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Shelagh

Number of posts : 12660
Registration date : 2008-01-11
Location : UK

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyWed Jul 01, 2009 3:48 pm

I'm all for mirth and joy. The kind that Dick spreads. Family visits 83899

_________________
Family visits 81KU-cLOw3L._SX110_ Family visits 41C9GeFDNWL._SX110_ Family visits 41%2BmGkZJdOL._SX110_ Family visits 51eDGllZXhL._SX115_ Family visits 41y7VHKoszL._SX115_ Family visits 51Zs4N4T4eL._SX115_
Amazon Author Central: Shelagh Watkins
I shall never be old. It doesn't suit me -- ©Shelagh Watkins
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Carol Troestler
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Carol Troestler

Number of posts : 3827
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Age : 83
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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyWed Jul 01, 2009 3:51 pm

I understand the mirth and joy. I think it comes from the fact that there is a big world out there, that we only have so much influence and control, that if we can stand alone, we can take on any challenge.

Thanks Betty.

Carol
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alice
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alice

Number of posts : 15672
Registration date : 2008-10-22
Age : 74
Location : Redmond, WA

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyWed Jul 01, 2009 11:00 pm

Carol,

Standing alone is often much easier than trying to stand your visitors. i would have preferred the aloneness to the close scrutiny and commentary on everything.

That's me, I guess.
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Carol Troestler
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Carol Troestler

Number of posts : 3827
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Age : 83
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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyWed Jul 01, 2009 11:06 pm

I know what you mean. My standing alone was in regard to one of my teenage children who was having difficulties and everyone told me it was my fault. I agree about the scrutiny and commentary on everything, especially that which some people really knew nothing about.

Aloneness can be wonderful. It has been a struggle to find a balance throughout the years, which might never be achieved. I just hope my scrutiny and commentary is kept at a minimum.

I was heavily scrutinized when I was going to get married. Some people refused to come to my wedding. In the last few years, people have told me I really knew what I was doing. This year we will have been married fifty years.

Love, Carol
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alice
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alice

Number of posts : 15672
Registration date : 2008-10-22
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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyWed Jul 01, 2009 11:15 pm

Carol,

Teenagers are in a class of their own. Everyone thought Dave and I were plum nuts because we didn't do right with our teenage kids too.

Guess whose turned out the best?

The only mistake I made with teen-agers was worrying too much about them. Listening to other folks prognostications was lousy too.
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Carol Troestler
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Carol Troestler

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyWed Jul 01, 2009 11:18 pm

Yep, you've got that right.

By the way, today my eighteen-year-old granddaughter gave a presentation with slide show to the Kiwanis group in our town regarding her trip to Italy with the art honors club. She did great on the trip taking photos as well as presenting them to Kiwanis. She is a great teenager, but that is because I'm the grandma.

Carol
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alice
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alice

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyWed Jul 01, 2009 11:33 pm

Congratulations, Carol.
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Carol Troestler
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Carol Troestler

Number of posts : 3827
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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyWed Jul 01, 2009 11:39 pm

I am so proud of her. Yesterday we spent a couple of hours trying to get the slide machine to work that would take the photos off her computer and put them on a wall. We had borrowed it from the library. Finally she said, "Why don't you take one of your computers and google the slide machine company and see if they have any further information." Good idea. The answers were there and we had that thing working in no time.

Carol
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alice
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alice

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyWed Jul 01, 2009 11:41 pm

Smart kid!
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Carol Troestler
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Carol Troestler

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PostSubject: Re: Family visits   Family visits EmptyThu Jul 02, 2009 3:41 pm

Marie,

Those are the best kind of family visits!

Carol heart
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