Published Authors

A place for budding and experienced authors to share ideas about publishing and marketing books
 
HomeHome  GalleryGallery  RegisterRegister  Log in  Featured MembersFeatured Members  ArticlesArticles  

Share
 

 Are You ready For Some Football

Go down 
AuthorMessage
Don Stephens
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
Don Stephens

Number of posts : 1355
Registration date : 2008-01-25
Age : 81
Location : Wherever my hat's hanging today!

Are You ready For Some Football Empty
PostSubject: Are You ready For Some Football   Are You ready For Some Football EmptyWed Sep 24, 2014 10:32 am

Quote :
Quote :
Quote :
Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
___________________________________________
 
Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
 
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
___________________________________________

 
What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
 
Drool.
___________________________________________

 
How many Notre Dame freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
 
None. That's a sophomore course.
___________________________________________

 
How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?
 
The cow fell on him.
___________________________________________

 
Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.
 
One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
 
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
___________________________________________

 
A University of Mississippi football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.
 
He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.
 
Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
___________________________________________
 
What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "
 
"Will the defendant please rise."
___________________________________________

 
If three Maryland Terrapin football players are in the same car, who is driving?
 
The police officer.
___________________________________________

 
How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
 
There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
___________________________________________

 
What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
 
A full set of teeth.
___________________________________________

 
University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.
___________________________________________

 
How is the South Carolina football team like an opossum?
 
They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
___________________________________________

 
Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?
 
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
___________________________________________

 
How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?
 
Pay him for the pizza.
___________________________________________

 
What are the longest three years of a University of Florida football player’s life?
 
Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.
Back to top Go down
Abe F. March
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
Abe F. March

Number of posts : 10720
Registration date : 2008-01-26
Age : 80
Location : Germany

Are You ready For Some Football Empty
PostSubject: Re: Are You ready For Some Football   Are You ready For Some Football EmptyWed Sep 24, 2014 10:48 am

Good ones, Don.  I needed a chuckle.
Back to top Go down
Shelagh
Admin
Admin
Shelagh

Number of posts : 12624
Registration date : 2008-01-11
Location : UK

Are You ready For Some Football Empty
PostSubject: Re: Are You ready For Some Football   Are You ready For Some Football EmptyWed Sep 24, 2014 10:51 am

I read out a couple to my husband; he's still laughing!

_________________
Are You ready For Some Football 81KU-cLOw3L._SX110_ Are You ready For Some Football 41C9GeFDNWL._SX110_ Are You ready For Some Football 41%2BmGkZJdOL._SX110_ Are You ready For Some Football 51eDGllZXhL._SX115_ Are You ready For Some Football 41y7VHKoszL._SX115_ Are You ready For Some Football 51Zs4N4T4eL._SX115_
Amazon Author Central: Shelagh Watkins
I shall never be old. It doesn't suit me -- ©️Shelagh Watkins
Back to top Go down
http://shelaghwatkins.co.uk
slb
Four Star Member
Four Star Member
slb

Number of posts : 926
Registration date : 2010-11-04
Age : 53
Location : Oskaloosa, Iowa

Are You ready For Some Football Empty
PostSubject: Re: Are You ready For Some Football   Are You ready For Some Football EmptyWed Oct 01, 2014 6:19 pm

Why does University of Minnesota use artificial turf? 

So the cheerleaders won't graze. 

Some oldies but goodies there.
Back to top Go down
http://www.stephenbrayton.com
Sponsored content




Are You ready For Some Football Empty
PostSubject: Re: Are You ready For Some Football   Are You ready For Some Football Empty

Back to top Go down
 
Are You ready For Some Football
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Published Authors :: General :: Comedy and Games-
Jump to: