The local police station was burgled last night; thieves broke in and stole all the toilet seats. Police say they have absolutely nothing to go on.
The search for the man who terrorizes nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on. Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow.
Policeman: "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to lock you up for the night."
Man: "What's the charge officer?"
Policeman: "Oh, there's no charge. It's all part of the service."
This one brought tears to my eyes:
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store. The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks. The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, "meow", the cop says, "oh, its only a cat" He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, "woof, woof." The cop says, "its only a dog." He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, "potato."