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 The Four Agreements

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alj
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alj

Number of posts : 9633
Registration date : 2008-12-05
Age : 75
Location : San Antonio

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PostSubject: The Four Agreements   The Four Agreements EmptyWed May 04, 2011 7:40 pm

http://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319

This book by Don Miguel Ruiz, a Toltec shaman, has come up several times here. I recommend it highly. I am trying to learn to live by the agreements as Don Miguel describes them:

1. Be impeccable with your word.

This is about more than not lying; it is about complete integrity, recognizing the power of words - especially you own words, and (here is the hardest part for me) - never gossiping. I mean, I like to think of myself as being forthright, and saying what I mean, but sometimes keeping one's word is about keeping quiet. Embarassed The Four Agreements 964195

2. Don't take anything personally.

This one is about realizing that nothing other people say is really about you, even when they are talking about you - it is really about them, and their own hang-ups, so you have to let is slide. I'm getting better at that one, but sometimes I slide backwards there, too.

3. Don't make assumptions

I had a therapist teach me this one a long time ago. It is not my job to have to guess what other people mean by what they say, or to try and figure out what they need. Ask questions to clarify if you need to, but don't let the indignation of somebody else get to you. That's about them.

4. Always do your best.

This one is about your best, not somebody else's idea of best, and you best can vary from day to day and circumstance to circumstance. You don't have to live up to some perfect ideal. Just do what you can with whatever you are facing at a given moment. If it has been a long day and you are tired, your best will probably not be the same as it was when you got up fresh that morning.

Totally oversimplified. Get the book. It's a little bitty book, and very inexpensive.

Ann
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dkchristi
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dkchristi

Number of posts : 8594
Registration date : 2008-12-29
Location : Florida

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PostSubject: Re: The Four Agreements   The Four Agreements EmptyWed May 04, 2011 9:20 pm

I have the book near where I spend the most time so I can review it often. It helps keep me centered.
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Abe F. March
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Abe F. March

Number of posts : 10689
Registration date : 2008-01-26
Age : 80
Location : Germany

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PostSubject: Re: The Four Agreements   The Four Agreements EmptyWed May 04, 2011 10:34 pm

Sounds like my kind of book. The most important things are usually the most difficult to do. Trying not to let anyone get under your skin is at the top of the list of things to work on. Having a thick skin is easier said than done. We feel the need to defend. Saying nothing implies guilt. That's were those assumptions are very wrong.

I think at times we feel the need to vent. Doing it publicly is the danger. Often the last statement made is the only one read. Without having the background information leading to the final statement, can mislead and harm.
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