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 Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

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alj
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PostSubject: Murphy's Lesser Known Laws   Sat Jul 03, 2010 5:19 pm

Received these just now in a forwarded email. Thought they were a hoot:

]1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer. (personal fave)

11. Flashlight: A metal tube used to store dead batteries.

12. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the
hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Ann
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dkchristi
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PostSubject: Re: Murphy's Lesser Known Laws   Sat Jul 03, 2010 6:25 pm

What a hoot! Love it! Well, the fireworks are done already. At least I didn't need to leave the house; I could see them up in the sky; small town; short fireworks :-)
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Abe F. March
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PostSubject: Re: Murphy's Lesser Known Laws   Sat Jul 03, 2010 9:48 pm

Loved them Ann.
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fleamailman
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PostSubject: Re: Murphy's Lesser Known Laws   Sun Jul 04, 2010 1:48 am

"...nice..." went the goblin
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luigie
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PostSubject: Re: Murphy's Lesser Known Laws   Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:18 am

Murphy is brighter than the jokes about him.

Paddy wins a load of money on the pools. He asks his mate Murphy if he fancies
going on the piss in London with him.
Well they arrive in London at this huge hotel. They're put up on the 10th floor. Off they trot on
the piss and get back to the hotel about 2 o'clock in the morning. Paddy decides
he wants to go for a swim.
Murphy is a bit miffed and asks "where the bloody hell can you go swimming at this time"
Paddy says " We can go in the Thames in our skiddies (underpants)"
Paddy then looks out onto his balcony and sees it's been raining; looking down at the shimmering road
he shouts to Murphy "Oi -- the Thames is down
here -- look!!!"
At that Murphy rips his clothes off revealing his Y-fronts sprints onto the
balcony and dives off. SPLAT!! Straight into the road below.
After about five minutes he manages to pick himself up and shouts up
to Paddy who's about to dive off the balcony. "Move over to the left a bit, this
is the shallow end 'ere!!!"
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