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 the last person to post here wins

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fleamailman
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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Mon May 03, 2010 2:06 pm

repost from elsewhere, a british "last post" thread(a troll that keeps heckling with "you win, you can stop now")

Quote :
Ok. You win.

the goblin accepted xxxxx's defeat magnanimously again , saying "...then I feel that we should discuss terms of surrender here, first off you Brits must drive on the right side of the road, you must stop eating those things hardly deemed food by the rest of humanity, you must also give Scotland it's full independence returning it to that pristine nature-reserve, that it once was for its aborigines, and now turning to the other matter of European integration, I feel the present day "litter laws" you have should be relaxed allowing people to actually place litter in the bins, it might also be a good idea I feel, though I am open your input on this matter, if the Brits could learn to use a knife and fork too, something you might have heard rumors about, appropriate etiquette lessons could be arranged then, anyway I am sure that, in time, you will grow to like our Swiss administration in that we will be able to offer you a far better synchronization between "your home, that labor exchange, the nearest tesco supermarket, your pub, that lightup in the rain outside, reentering the pub on back to your home again" than you are getting under the present day administration, simply our "time and motion" studies will show how "precision binge drinking" can be done more effectively, what say you then, surrender please..."

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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Mon May 03, 2010 2:12 pm

I surrender.

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fleamailman
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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Mon May 03, 2010 2:15 pm

("...ah but one can't surrender, a live writer has to learn how to defend his or her thread, simply it's more like a stage than a book, so trolls are a constant challenge here..." mentioned the goblin, simply explaining why one had to play both mentor and tormentor depending, adding "...troll site "last post" threads are a trial by fire now...")

repost from elsewhere, fending off the trolls again

the goblin felt he had to explain the situation for those who had just arrived, saying "...actually, here I am helping this poor brit learn the three "R"s of trolling, namely "roast, rubbish it, and rub salt in", unfortunately his grasp of reaching anything beyond the basics of "beer" and "boobs" does seem to hinder him in his advancement somewhat...", so the goblin just suggested he remained grasping those two then


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http://www.trollvalhalla.com/index.php?topic=40752.0
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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Mon May 03, 2010 2:22 pm

I know, I'm such a disappointment. Here you are trolling away and I'm not taking you seriously. In fact, I'm having a lot of fun.

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fleamailman
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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Mon May 03, 2010 2:23 pm

repost from elsewhere, he "what are you doing" thread

the goblin has been trying to calm the monster under the bed, saying "...don't be scared now, any bumps in the night at our age is a pure figment of your imagination..."


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fleamailman
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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Mon May 03, 2010 2:28 pm

Shelagh wrote:
I know, I'm such a disappointment. Here you are trolling away and I'm not taking you seriously. In fact, I'm having a lot of fun.

repost from elsewhere, the trolls site's "last post" thread

Quote :

Fleamailman would make a better mod than xxxxx or xxxxx.

alright, though the question still remains of "how one moderates trolls" here, felt the goblin who quickly warned "...either you clean up your act trolls, or else I will bombard you with profound intellectualisms, outstanding anecdotes, and weighed soliloquies, the like of which all forumland could only shudder to imagine...", of course with a matching picture to delicately illustrate and underscore things

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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Mon May 03, 2010 3:08 pm

Are you going to start stepping on my toes ... or are you saying that you are a dirty old man?

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fleamailman
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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 3:04 am

("...no, I am no troll now..." replied the goblin, adding "...but they feed me too, where all is fodder to ones thoughts...", and with that the goblin posted something on topic then)

repost from elsewhere, "live writing" not quite succeeding perhaps, posting rights withdrawn, whereupon the goblin's turned off the notifications, win/win perhaps

Quote :
I've been a member of this forum for almost 5 years, during that time i've never felt it necessary to use the Friend/Enemy function. Thanks to these 2 new trolls, i'm just about to use that function. Yay, now i won't even have to see the boring, tedious drivel from the two trolls - although, i actually think it's 1 troll with 2 accounts as there surely cannot be two such twats of gargantuan proportions as these two(one)

"...nah, the chameleon is famous, whereas I'm no other poster but my goblin self here, not even a troll for that matter, though admittedly I do have a "last post" thread at troll valhalla forum too, just I am across so many sites now, it's just one more there..." replied the goblin honestly, explaining "...no, see it clearly now what it is, for example a troll wouldn't focus on one thread alone here, his goal is to sow confusion amongst you by posting across threads, nor would he have one account either, he'd have many, nor would he be alone, they hit a forum in groups, so that even if you banned them all, you still wouldn't know who from that point onwards was one or not, so no then, obviously I'm not a troll, besides, a troll doesn't write in third person either, only writers do that, it's called "fiction" I believe...", in fact, the goblin jostled with trolls on their "last post" thread there often enough, and was indebted to them for their sharp quick wit, but he didn't consider himself one, no, he simply fought to be accepted as a "live writer" here


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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 3:08 am

(remix of "the soldier" by rupert brooke)


The goblin
If I should die, think only this of me:
That there's a thread on some virtual site
That is forever goblin's. There shall be
In that merry mirth a richer a happier sight;
A sight whom friendliness bore, shaped, made aware,
Gave, once, those posts freely their ways to roam,
A body of this goblin then, breathing wistful air,
Watched on by friends in his "last post" home.

-fleamailman-

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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 3:21 am

Shelagh wrote:
Are you going to start stepping on my toes ... or are you saying that you are a dirty old man?

"...um, I don't know really..." replied the goblin, adding "...which would you prefer, anything to please you, promise..."

repost from elsewhere

"...ah yes, English men are so romantic..." said the goblin who now understood the steps he must make to woo queenbot here

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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 5:56 am

Aussies are real (boot)men:


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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 6:16 am

("...the dance well..." replied the goblin)

repost from elsewhere, goblin's are not to be trusted again

"...what we have here..." started the goblin hesitantly, but continuing "...is live writing, where the trick with "live writing" of course, is to repost ones stuff across sites, like this post here from elsewhere then, where each time the original is aired, edited and backed up, simply air/edit/backup, that's all...", at which point the goblin remembered that no one was actually forced down this path with him, explaining "...ah but, by the time you've got someone to see some lone post you've done in a blog on a site somewhere, just imagine how many more people will have seen it if you were to repost to in the same type thread across fifty forums on a random thread of the games section too...", but that was the goblin for you, many thought he was just mad, saying "...oh but I am mad, come dance with me now, or return whence you came, for our lives are short and life's clock ticks away our moments..."


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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 6:20 am

repost from elsewhere


Quote :
I think a few turns on the Merry-Go-Round might make things clearer

"...I think a few turns on the Merry-Go-Round might make things clearer..." shelagh concluded, bong Zebedee appeared "...hello shelagh..." said Zebedee, "...hello Zebedee..." said shelagh, "...ah a Merry-Go-Round, well golly I haven't seen one of those since that love-scene between Dougal and Florence got cut out of the script, pity, but mind you it was British television so those viewers would have probably understood even less than what they had already understood by then which was near to nothing if I recall rightly not that they ever wanted "answers" that is, they wanted "escape", oh I see you have met the goblin, hello flea..." said Zebedee "...hello Zebedee..." said the goblin "...hello shelagh..." said the goblin "...hello flea..." said shelagh adding "...btw goblin have you ever heard of the thirty nine steps, it's just someone mentioned them and..." her look was sharper than her question, "...depends which ones, you see most people think of it as some climax to the book, some secret process, but what if Buchan in writing the book while recuperating from illness at St Cuby house had actually seen a real staircase there then...", Zebedee's moustache twitched again, his head swiveled around to shelagh saying"...I get it, it's the same as the magic roundabout itself that we puppets never actually ride on the roundabout since those other puppets do, a second set of puppets then, their story is never told, central in the plot but irrelevant at the same time..." bong Zebedee disappeared into shelagh's past again, shelagh's mind was on to something she felt

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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 7:42 am

It was magic!

“Do you want to see what it’s like sitting in a racing car?”

Before he’d finished asking the question, I had one leg inside the car and one outside. Squeezing in the rest of me, slip of a girl though I might have been, wasn’t as simple as bum on seat and debutante swing of legs into the car. By the time I’d slithered my body into the shell of the car, I was encapsulated, and felt as though I was wearing it rather than sitting in it. With my legs straight out in front of me at right-angles to my trunk, I felt as though I were only inches off the ground.

To give me a true impression of being in a racing car, the mechanics strapped me in. The seat belt arrangement, similar to the strapping on a child’s seat, included one strap over each shoulder. One of the mechanics bent over me and the car to pull the strapping and tighten the harness like a vice. I realised how much the driver must become a component of the car; a vital component but still, man and machine performing as one. There was no petrol in the tank so, as a favour, the men pushed me around the forecourt like a kid in a pedal car. It was magic.

Chapter Fourteen: Taking a Dip The Power of Persuasion Copyright © 2008 Shelagh Watkins

Time for bed.

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fleamailman
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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 8:16 am

("...now that is spoiling me rotten, and how you write well too..." went the goblin now, adding "...if I picked up a book, I would know a lot about it even before I read the first line now, but here, reading your extract I am transcended into the unknown entirely, a leap of faith then, enough said...")


repost form "what did you do today" thread, elsewhere

the goblin walks into the psychiatrist's studio, "...hello, what can we do for you Mr....,..." says the receptionist waiting for him to fill in the blanc of his name "... fleamailman, as in the "insect" with "post" and "man"..." replies the goblin looking around at the usual row of elbowless chairs set hard up against the wall in front of that standard coffee table with its pile of scruffy fashion magazines, the goblin hesitantly continues "...well miss..." stopping to find the words for a moment distracted, then lifting his gaze up from the gap between her blouse buttons, "...actually I am having doubts about my internet-self, moreover, I get the feeling that my muse is mad..." blurts out the goblin, as if confessing to something, "...oh I see..." the usual off the cuff reply she makes while looking quickly down to the piece of paper for the goblin's name again "...well, Mr. Fleabatman..." as her hand moves towards the drawer, where those blanc "case forms" are, stops, rests her hand on the table, then, vaguely interested asks “...but surely, that doesn't make you disfunctional in real life so where's the problem here...", "...yes miss, that's what the Muse keeps telling me too, oh, and naturally that greedy Slot would say anything just to get fed again wouldn't he..." the goblin answered noticing her hand once more moving towards the drawer again, he continues "...fact is I am not sure if a certain divergence between "dailylife" with "common sense" really merits madness, I mean most people, in that way, would be mad I suppose, otherwise their dailylifes would be mad if they themselves weren't mad that is...", a degree of certainty crept into her actions as she starts to write out the goblin's "case form" smugly saying "...well, that's why our psychiatrist deals with disfunctionality rather than open madness Mr fleabatman...", "...well there you go, Miss Barbiedoll here has said it, goblin..." butts in the Muse continuing “...and, since you're a paragon of subservient functional conformity if ever there was one, there's nothing wrong with you is there, can we leave now please..." the goblin gorps at the receptionist "...goblin, can I swallow this down yet, I,m hungry..." says Slot sensing the goblin's gorp at the receptionist had something to with male hormone braindeath again, Slot just gulped anyway, "...you know if there weren't two of them, anyone would think you had a "one tracked mind" goblin.." as the muse places her hands on his ears form behind and gently lifts his head, and moreover his gaze, back to the receptionist's face, "...yes Muse but she has a wonderful pair of, ouch..." the Muse's nails take a vengeance on the goblin's scalp, adding "...goblin, now just say your excuses to Miss Barbiedoll there and let's go...", "...now Mr Fleabatman, if you will just take a seat I will call our disfunctionality specialist who will no doubt be delighted to see you in a moment, meanwhile let me just get you a coffee..." as she walks in front of the now skipping zombie following her with outstretched arms behind her behind "...hear that Muse, a coffee, she's human after all, now if this joint has WIFI we can just set up my laptop and check my emails from those "last post" thread, etc.,...", "...wow now that's more like it goblin..." the muse changed to her euphoric self again "...oh yes, I can see in now goblin, my name in lights goblin, the paparazzi, those cameras, immortality..." as the Muse jumps onto the goblin's back, kicks and rides the goblin's mind headlong in the screen in a giant leap, "...yes, go for it my goblin, all hands to the keyboard, "open Slotemy" and away with us..." she bellows as the internal scene completes its teleportation whereas outside a now gyrating zombie bobs his head up and down to Gothic music while the forgotten receptionist returns with his posting fuel, his "computer/coffee/self" triangle complete, his forcefield up and functional, the slot just gulped down the scene again, alas there was no cure it seemed

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Shelagh
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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 9:40 am

If you will insist upon taking Robin with you to your appointments, you can't expect the head-shrink to pronounce your name correctly.


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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 9:51 am

(the goblin thanked queenbot again, saying "...so many typos in my previous post, anyway, ample reason for reposting then, btw is there a code for resizing pictures here, that's one of the real hassles of reposting across forums, the code changes between servers but if someone knows please spill beans here...")

the goblin felt that if one looked hard enough at ones life through his coffee, one might see someone looking back, "...often the question is just how hard one wants to look a the picture here..." he ventured


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Shelagh
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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 10:07 am

To resize pictures:

Code:
 [img(Xpx,Ypx)]URL[/img]

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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 10:25 am

("...thanks, post me an example then..." replied the goblin wondering if queenbot had seen the man in coffee yet)


repost from elsewhere

the goblin was feeling mad today, usually a good sign he felt, so he held up and looked a the tin of baked beans which he noted read "by appointment of her majesty the queen" and then wondered if, when, and how, she actually ate them

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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 10:47 am


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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 10:53 am

("...bravo..." went the goblin)

repost from elsewhere

the goblin greatest happiness was both "being alive" and being "able to reflect upon it", "...in fact, I suppose that I could base my happiness on external factors like, "health", "possessions", and "relationships"..." explained the goblin continuing "...but they're external happinesses that ill health, financial ruin, or simple old age could no doubt easily erode away, no my happiness, from this point on, must be found from within me and radiate outwards towards dailylife, and not depend on dailylife, since old age will only slap me in the face if I don't aim for something deeper in the end..."

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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Tue May 04, 2010 2:15 pm

"...true, perhaps if I could ever really get these posts right to myself I wouldn't need to continue here, since I would already know for sure what I am thinking...", so part of the goblin at this point was living his life normally, yes, but another part of him was watching the slide of the dollar under the largest debt in America's short history, adding "...so it seems that our distractions are wearing thin now, and yes, you and I might be helpless here, but I promise now that I won't look the other way while this happens, patriotism is, at its base, knowing by heart those principals that one holds to towards ones country, and holding one country to them then..."

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2717350365989458437&ei=ZGjlSvzFG5-i2wL26_UH&q=history+of+the+dollar&hl=en#


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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Wed May 05, 2010 1:05 am

Talking of these posts, shouldn't you be fleapostman?

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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Wed May 05, 2010 2:53 am

("...nah, fleamailman was once snailmailman..." replied the goblin)

repost from elsewhere, the woman's interests "last post" thread, weightloss again

the goblin often wondered if a diet was ever the right way in life, saying "...surely a diet is just an excuse to not change ones basic eating habits while one is not dieting that is, any decision should be long term then, not "I am dieting now" or worse "I will diet this all off later", more "I need to think out my lifestyle here", so if eating is habitual change those habits, if it addictionnal keep food out of arm's reach, if it is release don't let it build up in the first place, but we are aware of all this already and ignore it thinking one can just diet it off later, so a diet in effect becomes a loan from the "excuse bank" here for the wrong lifestyle perhaps..."


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PostSubject: Re: the last person to post here wins   Wed May 05, 2010 3:00 am

repost from elsewhere,

"...of course a man will jump into the burning building, or the coldest sea, to rescue you, as he will fight for those he loves, and for what he feels to be right too, and no doubt even die for them where his reason tells him to do so that is, only that this sentiment has nothing to do with "love" per say, no, the sentiment is in fact towards "death", as in his altruistic deathwish perhpas..." the goblin explained a bit more, saying "...are not war, exploration, self sacrifice, and adventure, in part, based on a man's benchmark of death here, where living on without pride is not the default of the man's physic in his life, that is, where somewhere within him is his deathwish then, that has it, that in the dying is a release from self doubt and condemnation at having to "live on" now, whereas, and moreover, to actually die for something becomes some vindication towards it, simply he will always go back into those flames, that sea, etc., if left to his own devices here, so the roll of society in general, and his family too, is to keep his attention diverted, and ego appeased, where otherwise, left alone, he would smoke, drink and generally let himself go under in a feeling of inadequacy towards himself and his lot, in short, a man needs a reason to "live on" here, meaning that it isn't the reality of "I am alive so I'll just live on by default" as one might normally think here, no, the default in an average man is actually set to "off" it would seem...", it was as if wherever the goblin looked now, he saw this default "off" working in practice, unmentioned, unacceptable perhaps, but all so evident when one could tell its clear features by now

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