| | The Flying Scot | |
| | Author | Message |
---|
alj Five Star Member
Number of posts : 9633 Registration date : 2008-12-05 Age : 80 Location : San Antonio
| Subject: The Flying Scot Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:39 pm | |
| What is about getting old? I have trouble remembering what I came to my computer to do, or the name of someone I met yesterday, but as I was reading the Conrad story of merchant seaman aboard an old sailing ship, I suddenly remembered every line of this poem that I wrote over 30 years ago. I read it to my classmates. The professor said he thought the last stanza should be removed, and the poem should stand without it. The guys in the class agreed. The women said it should stay. What do you think?
Ann
The Flying Scot by Ann Levingston Joiner 1978
July, 1963
I remember
Salt sea air, The wind, blowing through my hair. You said that you liked it, that I didn’t care that the wind was blowing through my hair.
Suddenly the boat began to heel and I began to wonder if it would right itself again.
You laughed, and steered us safely into the wind.
Was it the water and the salty spray that made us feel so good that day? or did we know, even then, that we were falling in love? |
| | | Carol Troestler Five Star Member
Number of posts : 3827 Registration date : 2008-06-07 Age : 86 Location : Wisconsin
| Subject: Re: The Flying Scot Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:44 pm | |
| I'd like it without the last stanza. I think it should end with the wind.
Carol |
| | | alj Five Star Member
Number of posts : 9633 Registration date : 2008-12-05 Age : 80 Location : San Antonio
| Subject: Re: The Flying Scot Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:46 pm | |
| You're probably right. It's an example of those first draft bits that are hard to let go of, even when we know we must.
Ann |
| | | Shelagh Admin
Number of posts : 12662 Registration date : 2008-01-11 Location : UK
| Subject: Re: The Flying Scot Tue Aug 04, 2009 2:44 am | |
| I agree; the last stanza adds nothing. The title doesn't seem quite right. The poem is about the wind (Through your hair, steering you safely). Suggested title: Into the Wind. |
| | | alj Five Star Member
Number of posts : 9633 Registration date : 2008-12-05 Age : 80 Location : San Antonio
| Subject: Re: The Flying Scot Tue Aug 04, 2009 4:35 am | |
| Another title would be better. The Flying Scot was the name of the boat's class, and what we always called her, but it doesn't mean anything to anyone else. Reading back over it, I'm tempted to call it "Beginning," or something like that, since it was our first sailing date. That, to, would be personal, but more in keeping with the poem.
Ann |
| | | Abe F. March Five Star Member
Number of posts : 10768 Registration date : 2008-01-26 Age : 85 Location : Germany
| Subject: Re: The Flying Scot Tue Aug 04, 2009 4:54 am | |
| Blowing in (or with) the wind. |
| | | Shelagh Admin
Number of posts : 12662 Registration date : 2008-01-11 Location : UK
| Subject: Re: The Flying Scot Tue Aug 04, 2009 7:11 am | |
| Good title, Abe, but Bob Dylan got there first! Maybe Sailing in the Wind. |
| | | Dick Stodghill Five Star Member
Number of posts : 3795 Registration date : 2008-05-04 Age : 98 Location : Akron, Ohio
| Subject: Re: The Flying Scot Tue Aug 04, 2009 2:41 pm | |
| Well here's a fine howdy-do! Ladies wanting to do without love. |
| | | Abe F. March Five Star Member
Number of posts : 10768 Registration date : 2008-01-26 Age : 85 Location : Germany
| Subject: Re: The Flying Scot Tue Aug 04, 2009 3:34 pm | |
| Marie, do you ever consider that there are some who would lilke to take a peek. |
| | | Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: The Flying Scot | |
| |
| | | | The Flying Scot | |
|
Similar topics | |
|
| Permissions in this forum: | You cannot reply to topics in this forum
| |
| |
| Latest topics | » Current events - world viewSun Apr 24, 2022 8:53 am by Abe F. March » Status of forumTue Oct 26, 2021 11:33 pm by Abe F. March » RSS-feed Directory of best Free Marketing TipsMon Jun 21, 2021 4:06 am by ryanerwindm » Alice Shumate CrookerSun Jun 20, 2021 2:31 pm by Shelagh » Alice Tue Jun 15, 2021 1:12 pm by Abe F. March » Activity on the forumFri Mar 12, 2021 10:31 pm by Abe F. March » Call it begins Fri Mar 12, 2021 6:41 pm by Ierus » Merry ChristmasTue Dec 22, 2020 11:04 am by Abe F. March » Climate ChangeMon Sep 21, 2020 12:02 am by Abe F. March » Animal charactersSat Jul 11, 2020 12:01 pm by Abe F. March » VirusSun Jun 28, 2020 7:59 am by Abe F. March » Just an observationSun May 31, 2020 3:10 pm by Shelagh » DebtSun May 24, 2020 5:42 am by Abe F. March » Still activeMon Feb 24, 2020 9:42 am by Shelagh » best fantasy books?Fri Feb 21, 2020 11:26 am by cpena |
Published Authors on Twitter |
|
|