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 The Flying Scot

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alj
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
alj

Number of posts : 9633
Registration date : 2008-12-05
Age : 76
Location : San Antonio

The Flying Scot Empty
PostSubject: The Flying Scot   The Flying Scot EmptyMon Aug 03, 2009 7:39 pm

What is about getting old? I have trouble remembering what I came to my computer to do, or the name of someone I met yesterday, but as I was reading the Conrad story of merchant seaman aboard an old sailing ship, I suddenly remembered every line of this poem that I wrote over 30 years ago. I read it to my classmates. The professor said he thought the last stanza should be removed, and the poem should stand without it. The guys in the class agreed. The women said it should stay. What do you think?

Ann


The Flying Scot
by Ann Levingston Joiner
1978

July, 1963


I remember

Salt sea air,
The wind, blowing through my hair.
You said that you liked it,
that I didn’t care
that the wind was blowing through my hair.

Suddenly
the boat began to heel and
I began to wonder
if it would right itself again.


You laughed, and steered us
safely into the wind.

Was it the water and the salty spray
that made us feel so good that day?
or did we know, even then,
that we were falling in love?
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http://www.annjoiner.com
Carol Troestler
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Carol Troestler

Number of posts : 3827
Registration date : 2008-06-07
Age : 81
Location : Wisconsin

The Flying Scot Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Flying Scot   The Flying Scot EmptyMon Aug 03, 2009 7:44 pm

I'd like it without the last stanza. I think it should end with the wind.

Carol
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alj
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
alj

Number of posts : 9633
Registration date : 2008-12-05
Age : 76
Location : San Antonio

The Flying Scot Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Flying Scot   The Flying Scot EmptyMon Aug 03, 2009 7:46 pm

You're probably right. It's an example of those first draft bits that are hard to let go of, even when we know we must.

Ann
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Shelagh
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Shelagh

Number of posts : 12609
Registration date : 2008-01-11
Location : UK

The Flying Scot Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Flying Scot   The Flying Scot EmptyTue Aug 04, 2009 2:44 am

I agree; the last stanza adds nothing. The title doesn't seem quite right. The poem is about the wind (Through your hair, steering you safely). Suggested title: Into the Wind.

_________________
The Flying Scot 41ZdcL0lV7L._SL125_ The Flying Scot 41C9GeFDNWL._SL125_ The Flying Scot 41%2BmGkZJdOL._SL125_ The Flying Scot 51eDGllZXhL._SL125_ The Flying Scot 41y7VHKoszL._SL125_ The Flying Scot 51Zs4N4T4eL._SL125_
Amazon Author Central: Shelagh Watkins
I shall never be old. It doesn't suit me -- ©️Shelagh Watkins 2017
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http://shelaghwatkins.co.uk
alj
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
alj

Number of posts : 9633
Registration date : 2008-12-05
Age : 76
Location : San Antonio

The Flying Scot Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Flying Scot   The Flying Scot EmptyTue Aug 04, 2009 4:35 am

Another title would be better. The Flying Scot was the name of the boat's class, and what we always called her, but it doesn't mean anything to anyone else. Reading back over it, I'm tempted to call it "Beginning," or something like that, since it was our first sailing date. That, to, would be personal, but more in keeping with the poem.

Ann
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Abe F. March
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Abe F. March

Number of posts : 10703
Registration date : 2008-01-26
Age : 80
Location : Germany

The Flying Scot Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Flying Scot   The Flying Scot EmptyTue Aug 04, 2009 4:54 am

Blowing in (or with) the wind.
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Shelagh
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Admin
Shelagh

Number of posts : 12609
Registration date : 2008-01-11
Location : UK

The Flying Scot Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Flying Scot   The Flying Scot EmptyTue Aug 04, 2009 7:11 am

Good title, Abe, but Bob Dylan got there first! Maybe Sailing in the Wind.

_________________
The Flying Scot 41ZdcL0lV7L._SL125_ The Flying Scot 41C9GeFDNWL._SL125_ The Flying Scot 41%2BmGkZJdOL._SL125_ The Flying Scot 51eDGllZXhL._SL125_ The Flying Scot 41y7VHKoszL._SL125_ The Flying Scot 51Zs4N4T4eL._SL125_
Amazon Author Central: Shelagh Watkins
I shall never be old. It doesn't suit me -- ©️Shelagh Watkins 2017
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http://shelaghwatkins.co.uk
Dick Stodghill
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Dick Stodghill

Number of posts : 3795
Registration date : 2008-05-04
Age : 94
Location : Akron, Ohio

The Flying Scot Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Flying Scot   The Flying Scot EmptyTue Aug 04, 2009 2:41 pm

Well here's a fine howdy-do! Ladies wanting to do without love.
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Abe F. March
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Abe F. March

Number of posts : 10703
Registration date : 2008-01-26
Age : 80
Location : Germany

The Flying Scot Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Flying Scot   The Flying Scot EmptyTue Aug 04, 2009 3:34 pm

Marie,
do you ever consider that there are some who would lilke to take a peek.
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The Flying Scot Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Flying Scot   The Flying Scot Empty

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