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 A Night of Dreams 1978

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alj
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
alj

Number of posts : 9633
Registration date : 2008-12-05
Age : 76
Location : San Antonio

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PostSubject: A Night of Dreams 1978   A Night of Dreams  1978 EmptyTue Jun 23, 2009 5:43 am

A Night of Dreams

Dream One

Sitting in great Aunt Edna's parlor
Sipping tea from antique cups
Seeing the cup shatter in my hand
As the parlor slowly dissolves away

Sitting in the classroom while
The younger students discuss
Their plans for the coming dance.

I know how much
I want to go but my
Aunt Edna has my party dress.

And now it's ten o'clock,
the dance
already
underway.

And now I'm
running to her house


I ring the bell the door opens
But it's my ex, not my Aunt Edna
Who's standing there telling me

It isn't ten o'clock at night,
But ten in the morning.

The dance is over.

Dream Two



The house was small, the furniture
scant and functional,
but the windows!
The windows were everywhere!
Letting in light and clean fresh air.

(Outside my
brother pitches his tent,
cooks
breakfast over an open fire.)


But mother doesn't stop out there.

She comes inside, this woman
dressed in silks
and furs,
casts shadows and disdaining glances.


She stands
there,... towering, and she speaks


"Where is the dining room?" she asks.

"There's a table in the kitchen."

"Whatever did you do with your rugs?"

"I gave them away. You see, I like
the floor."



"I simply cannot understand
you had so much a lovely home,
a gracious life,"

"I - wasn't - happy!"

but the voice goes on in garbled words
I can no longer understand
'til I'm awake, whispering a scream,

"Let me go.

Let - me - go!"


Dream Three

The building forms
in front of me.
I watch its lines and angles
Converge.

I am a budding architect
Growing taller, then smaller
Searching for correct proportions
of size to content and form.


Ann Levingston Joiner
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alj
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
alj

Number of posts : 9633
Registration date : 2008-12-05
Age : 76
Location : San Antonio

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PostSubject: Re: A Night of Dreams 1978   A Night of Dreams  1978 EmptyTue Jun 23, 2009 6:38 am

Thanks. This was another exercise for that Creative Writing class. I wasn't that impressed with it, but the group liked it. The professor wanted me to try and get it published.

Using punctuation as part of the poem was something we were looking into at the time. It's another old piece, so I doubt I would change it, but keep the criticisms coming, please. They help refine the craft.

Ann
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Dick Stodghill
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Dick Stodghill

Number of posts : 3795
Registration date : 2008-05-04
Age : 94
Location : Akron, Ohio

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PostSubject: Re: A Night of Dreams 1978   A Night of Dreams  1978 EmptyWed Jun 24, 2009 12:43 pm

I'm not a poetry person but the first one is pure noir. Love the feeling of darkness and inevitable doom.
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alj
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
alj

Number of posts : 9633
Registration date : 2008-12-05
Age : 76
Location : San Antonio

A Night of Dreams  1978 Empty
PostSubject: Re: A Night of Dreams 1978   A Night of Dreams  1978 EmptyWed Jun 24, 2009 1:08 pm

I'm glad you liked it, Dick. Hopefully, the last one represented a resolution to the darkness of the first two.

Ann
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