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 Bricklayer's Accident Report

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Abe F. March
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Number of posts : 10572
Registration date : 2008-01-26
Age : 79
Location : Germany

PostSubject: Bricklayer's Accident Report   Thu Jun 02, 2016 7:16 am

This is a bricklayer's Accident report, which allegedly was printed in the newsletter of
the Workers' Compensation board.

Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional
information. In Block 3 of the accident report form, I put "poor
planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller
explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was
working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I
completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over,
which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess
of 500lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower
them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side
of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground
level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks
into  it.

Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure
a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the
Accident Report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at
being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind
and forgot to let go of the rope.

Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the
building.  In the Vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained
the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as
listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was
able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
Now devoid of the Weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.

I refer you again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming
This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the
pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in
pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind
and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel
begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry
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Location : Florida

PostSubject: Re: Bricklayer's Accident Report   Thu Jun 02, 2016 9:26 am

Very clever.
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Number of posts : 15636
Registration date : 2008-10-22
Age : 70
Location : Redmond, WA

PostSubject: Re: Bricklayer's Accident Report   Thu Jun 02, 2016 9:35 am

Love it.
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