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 D. K. Christi's musings

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Shelagh
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Sat May 28, 2016 8:11 am

Don't be discouraged from writing your musings, DK; the therapy is good for you, and the posts are here to be read by many, even if no one responds.

You may find this interesting, about the history of the bathroom laws:

http://www.npr.org/2016/05/28/479766852/before-north-carolina-there-were-other-contentious-bathroom-bill-fights

The comments below the article are flippant, and reflect they way this has become quite a joke. There are far more important issues to discuss, but the idea that people are being pushed around against their wishes is holding everyone's attention.

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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Sat May 28, 2016 10:58 am

In my opinion, it is a non issue.  As I said in other posts, cultures throughout the world have their own public bathroom policies.  When I went to S. Korea in 1975 no public bathrooms existed.  Women and men stepped behind buildings.  However, the Korean culture was a "no see" culture where everything was considered private because there were so many people living close together.

In the hotel, the bathroom was unisex.  It had urinals on one wall and stalls with swinging doors on the other. The stalls had a ceramic hole in the floor.  My friend and I were far from home and had to use the hotel.  She said, "you guard for me and I'll guard for you," and in she went - followed by a Korean man.  She came out of her stall to find him and out of the restroom fuming at me.  "What was I supposed to do?  Tackle him?" I asked.  Our plan was stupid.  I just went in and used the bathroom and out as fast as I could.

In some country the public bathrooms were stalls on the sidewalk for anyone.  And I remember lots of holes in the floor with a place to put your feet.

Most of the hotels abroad shared bathrooms in the days I traveled, either between rooms or down the hall.  I remember once in Germany I asked for the bathroom and was told there was an extra charge - for a bathtub in its own room.  The shower and water closet were included in the price of the room.

My point is that every cultural shift in this country seems to be fodder for the papers and the politics.  When restrooms are unisex no one asks about sexual orientation and everyone is careful of perverts, thugs and thieves.  Many restrooms in traveling had a person guarding them (well, cleaning them I imagine) who sat on a stool collecting the fee of the day. 

How about public events where the unisex stalls are lined up - they have a toilet and a small sink.  There's a box on my beach walk with a chemical toilet and a machine with hand sanitizer in it. 

I repeat - it's a non- issue until someone decides who is to use bathrooms and who is not.  It is a part of living.  It is not sexual.  It is not gender specific.  And it is a necessity - a right. 

So, my solution?  Take the men and women signs off the restroom doors.  Enclose the urinal section with dividers of some sort as even men don't need to watch each other go to the bathroom for goodness sake.  It'll sure put a stop to a lock of monkey business in the boys' bathroom in schools.

Continue to have single bathrooms with sink, changing table, and toilet set for handicapped - available for those who choose to use it.

Too many school bathrooms are social clubs whether in business or high school.  That's what a meeting room is for.

To sum up:  It is my opinion that sexual orientation should not determine bathroom use - it should be determined by need.  Bathrooms need to be designed to provide a bit of privacy to whomever needs to use the facility.  Every person needs to be wary of public restrooms and who might be lurking there, male or female in whatever garb.  If there is a concern, use the single restroom when there is one available.  If not, grab someone to go in the bathroom with you.
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Sat May 28, 2016 11:51 am

I read your musings. They read normal for this system of things. As a person who puts scripture ahead of man's views, i don't agree with many man-made laws. I do follow all man-made  laws even though I may not agree with many of them. I don't follow them if they go against Gods laws.
I feel many people do not like Gods laws because it removes their freedom(sic.) In truth God's laws give more freedom than man's laws, at least Gods laws don't change from day to day.

Have you ever read Gods laws? There are many besides just the 10 commandments. True those laws don't work well in this system because God does not enforce them, but he will after Jesus returns...Jesus says during his 1,000 year rule, the human family will follow Gods laws out of love, or by the sword. 
I like reading your post on this thread. I agree if more people would live by what you have posted it would be a better world...but I believe we both know many will not, nor do I believe man can ghange things for the better.
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Sat May 28, 2016 12:49 pm

I'm often reminded of the story about the young child and father walking on the beach.  It was covered with starfish washed up by a storm surf.  The child kept throwing them back in the water.  "Don't bother wasting your time," said the father. "You can't possibly make any difference there are so many." "I will make a difference with this one," the child answered, throwing one more starfish back in the water.

As a teacher, we often turned to that story because our task was so monumental with too many children with so many needs.  I always admired Ann for caring so much about her students who got a second chance because she cared about them.

I also like the metaphor of ripples in the pond.  When the clerk at the grocery is specially kind to me on a difficult day, I smile.  I chat affably with the girl who wheels out the groceries and I'm sure she is kind to her next person.  And such is the ripple of kindness if we don't break the chain.  

We are however, human beings with all that includes from a wide range of emotions to a lengthy hierarchy of real and perceived needs that all get in the way of doing the right thing all the time - and sometimes what's right for most people has a murky rather than an absolute aspect.

My experience with people who live by absolutes is that they have either been broken and took to absolutes to hold themselves together or they fall the hardest when temptation and human frailties overtake them.  Thus, I see life as a complex web of information to our senses and we are faced with choices that are not absolute but rather painted by the circumstances of our birth and our path in this world.  We muddle through, hanging onto values that seem right for people to live together without harming each other and building a quality lifestyle.  We slip and fall, but we get up again and start over again, using that misstep as new information.
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Sat May 28, 2016 2:11 pm

dkchristi wrote:
I'm often reminded of the story about the young child and father walking on the beach.  It was covered with starfish washed up by a storm surf.  The child kept throwing them back in the water.  "Don't bother wasting your time," said the father. "You can't possibly make any difference there are so many." "I will make a difference with this one," the child answered, throwing one more starfish back in the water.

As a teacher, we often turned to that story because our task was so monumental with too many children with so many needs.  I always admired Ann for caring so much about her students who got a second chance because she cared about them.

I also like the metaphor of ripples in the pond.  When the clerk at the grocery is specially kind to me on a difficult day, I smile.  I chat affably with the girl who wheels out the groceries and I'm sure she is kind to her next person.  And such is the ripple of kindness if we don't break the chain.  

We are however, human beings with all that includes from a wide range of emotions to a lengthy hierarchy of real and perceived needs that all get in the way of doing the right thing all the time - and sometimes what's right for most people has a murky rather than an absolute aspect.

My experience with people who live by absolutes is that they have either been broken and took to absolutes to hold themselves together or they fall the hardest when temptation and human frailties overtake them.  Thus, I see life as a complex web of information to our senses and we are faced with choices that are not absolute but rather painted by the circumstances of our birth and our path in this world.  We muddle through, hanging onto values that seem right for people to live together without harming each other and building a quality lifestyle.  We slip and fall, but we get up again and start over again, using that misstep as new information.

You have a good philosophy if this life was all there was. Let me tell you a little story I live by:
When God created the first man, he commanded the angels who are higher than man, to serve man. God created man to care for the earth. What that means is; Care for the things lower than man as the angels care for things lower than them.
We are designed to live forever, never aging or falling into death. Jesus came to restore that. When Jesus comes the second time, he will destroy the tares, and restore what was in the beginning.  God did not create the angels for their own pleasure, but for his pleasure. He created man for the same reason. This is not an effort to try and make you believe as I, but just for a second, imagine what I have been saying is true…would that not make the human family appear to be rebelling against why God created us?
We are not here for our pleasure, but for his, and in that position we will have life on a paradise earth. I for one, would not choose life if the God of the scriptures were not real…life would be rebellion. Satan has the whole world demanding FREEDOM. Satan wanted freedom from God. He has most of the world now wanting the same. It is rebellion against God, this word FREEDOM.
Satan has had 6,000 years to build a system that works, and is good for man…they have all fallen, not one has worked. Should that not make people ask,  “What is wrong here?” How often do you hear, or read people saying, “Something strange is going on in the world?”
Those who understand the scriptures know what is going on, and I tell you the truth…God warns in the scriptures, it will be worse than in the days of Noah. God say he is the only one who can stop it…he says if he does not, no flesh would survive. That is why we talk to people who have eyes to see, and ears to hear.
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Sat May 28, 2016 2:13 pm

Choices, choices, life is full of them, but should parents make choices for children that will change their lives forever?

https://4thwavenow.com/2015/10/20/zero-zilch-nada-evidence-to-support-gender-transition-of-young-children/



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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Sat May 28, 2016 2:38 pm

Shelagh wrote:
Choices, choices, life is full of them, but should parents make choices for children that will change their lives forever?

https://4thwavenow.com/2015/10/20/zero-zilch-nada-evidence-to-support-gender-transition-of-young-children/



Let's say you have a child, and allow the child to grow up without the direction of the parents? Results? not good. I do agree many parents have no idea how to raise a child. Here in the United States of America, much of how a child is raised has been taken over by the Government...Same sex marriage, any sex you want, etc. Parents have little, or no say in what the Government is doing to young people. 
It looks like the next president of the U.S.A. will either be a Female Hitler or a male Hitler. It is not only this country falling, the world will fall with it. and there is nothing any human can do to stop it...because humans are not in control of this earth, satan is. Here is a truth I ask you to remember: UFO's are real. Flying them are not creatures from outer space who planted us here...These will be the twenty angels who came to earth before the flood and the demons. They will fool most of the world they planted us here, and there is no God. many true believers of God will also believe them because they have not made a study of the scriptures. God cast those twenty angels into darkness for 70 generations. A generation is 70 years...they were released before 1914.  Look at the events that have taken place since 1914? 
I do not expect many if any on this forum to believe what i say, but when you see these things happening, well you may remember what the scriptures warned.
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Sun May 29, 2016 2:32 am

dkchristi wrote:
To sum up:  It is my opinion that sexual orientation should not determine bathroom use - it should be determined by need.  Bathrooms need to be designed to provide a bit of privacy to whomever needs to use the facility.  Every person needs to be wary of public restrooms and who might be lurking there, male or female in whatever garb.  If there is a concern, use the single restroom when there is one available.  If not, grab someone to go in the bathroom with you.

At least one school is using your suggestion, DK:

http://dailysignal.com/2016/05/25/k-12-school-proposes-removing-urinals-and-making-bathrooms-gender-neutral/

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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Sun May 29, 2016 10:51 pm

There are people dying for lack of food.  There are people dying for lack of healthcare.  There are people dying in wars and others dying trying to escape war zones. In the meanwhile, we are concerned about potty issues.  We see migrants/refugees walking for hundreds of miles with no toilet facilities or a place to take a shower/bath and they find a way to cope.

When there is a need for the elimination of body waste, urgency affects the attitude of how or where this will occur.  Ideally, there are clean facilities where one can perform these functions in private.  When not, nature will take its course whether we like it or not.  If you ever had an urgent need while driving and there was no service facility available, you pulled off the highway, got rid of the waste with modesty taking a backseat.
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Mon May 30, 2016 1:39 am

It isn't about that, though, Abe. Would you want your five-year-old granddaughter sharing a bathroom with an older boy dressed as a girl? These parents are finding it difficult to deal with children who come home from school and say: "I think you can choose to be a boy or a girl."

http://dailysignal.com/2016/02/29/kindergarten-students-forced-to-confront-gender-identity/


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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Mon May 30, 2016 8:21 am

I get your point Shelagh, however we can't expect the government to regulate everything.
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Mon May 30, 2016 10:38 am

Again, it's a non issue that will pass.  Children who grow up on farms seem to me the best adjusted to a lot of natural things in life and are, therefore, unconcerned.

I lived in Key West for three years and never thought about who used the bathrooms. I just went in, took care of nature and left. Many alternative types of individuals lived in Key West and shared work, play, friendships, romances, church, school and all of life's stuff without conflict derived from the alternative lifestyles they led. Children seemed normal to me.

This is a lot of hoopla for  nothing.  When a person is denied the right to privacy regarding the use of a bathroom then that's something that should be fixed. Period. I always hated physical education and such things as group showers, etc. because of idiots that  made it tough on the shy ones. Shower curtains are not that expensive.  Cloth curtains provide inexpensive dividers.  Look at hospitals with their ring around curtains.  All it takes is a little ingenuity.  Change is tough.
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Mon May 30, 2016 11:09 am

Even curtains around hospital beds have disappeared, at least in Germany.  They were found to hold/contain bacteria and thus they eliminated that source of infections.  I don't think there is 100% safety with anything.  We may have crosswalks and lights to regulate pedestrians, but that doesn't eliminate the danger of crossing.  Some driver may not adhere to the light or there could be a mechanical failure that caused him to plow into the pedestrians.  One can have security locks on doors, but a burgular can still gain access.  Safety is the concern of most people and it is up to them to take precautions.  It is not too far-fetched to consider the possibility of having toilet capability in autos.  Sidewalk Latrines were once a common sight in Paris.  Many of those facilities have been eliminated, however the need to go will not be eliminated.  Perhaps someone will create some form of body container for emergency use.  
"Find a need and fill it" has been a standard for success.  It appears that there is a potty need.  What is the priority?  Privacy, easy access, cleanliness, safety, other.  I see opportunity.  To grow, to progress means change and change begins with us.  Those who have traveled much or lived in other countries made adjustments.  There are some things we must do for ourselves, i.e., we can't ask someone to go to the toilet for us.
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Mon May 30, 2016 2:38 pm

Federal government does not have the right to tell schools and colleges how to spend federal funds. The president has threatened to withhold funds from education establishments that fail to allow boys and girls to use the bathroom of their choice. He thinks he is the sharpest knife in the drawer and everyone else is stupid, when everyone knows that he is really insisting that federal funds should be used to provide unisex bathrooms with private stalls in all schools, colleges and universities. The president does not have the authority to tell state run education how to spend federal funds, but he is doing just that. The money should be spent on learning, education, teaching and providing children with skills.

A year ago, Obama installed a gender neutral bathroom in the White House. Now he wants schools, colleges and universities to do the same.

http://www.politico.com/story/2015/04/white-house-gender-neutral-bathroom-116779

You both said that the bathroom issue is a distraction, and yet you are distracted by it to the point of not seeing how federal government is interfering in the day to day running of states across the country.

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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Wed Jun 01, 2016 10:12 am

http://money.cnn.com/2016/03/08/news/trump-university-controversy-donald-trump/index.html

I know the above url won't register with any Trump supporters because they love him like they love a rock star, a baseball celebrity or a Kardashian.  It's the brash charisma that comes from living in the power of money that is so attractive.  Unfortunately, for the nation, it does not credential a person to be the leader of the free world.

He, himself, said he could murder someone in plain sight in New York and not lose a voter.  Even he knows his adoration by his fans is irrational. 

He wrote the checks to the veteran's organizations the day he had the distracting press conference to take the press talk away from his blazen switch and bait fraud, Trump University, from which he acquired over $40 million in profit before it was totally exposed for the fraud it was.  The fact that a few people felt they gained from the experience doesn't change the facts:  the operation was a switch and bait fraud - criminal. Those are real lawsuits - not potential law suits - active law suits.  Regardless of their outcome, they resulted from misrepresentation to vulnerable people who were scammed.

When D.T. is caught in one of his lame business operations or outright lies, he rewrites the history and the people swallow it.  He can do and has done no wrong - he is the shining celebrity with money and power and people that he admits to buying along the way - buying their allegiance.

Egads.  What have we come to as a country?  It's not his fault.  It is the fault of the lemmings who follow him - like the poor saps at Trump University - as if touching Donald Trump will rub off.  You first need to start by growing up with a silver spoon and then inheriting daddy's money to invest in the business daddy trained one to invest in - and he still went bankrupt four times.  Four times somebody was left unpaid while he danced off to invest again. Character and ethics can't hold you back.

How about you and I going bankrupt four times. We can also have a good time on the way.  First, we fill out all those credit card adverts that come to the mailbox in good credit season.  The interest rates are usually okay.  Get about ten of them and run them up until they equal more than one's ability to make the payments.  Be sure the home is homesteaded.  Go bankrupt and leave the creditors unpaid while you and I traveled the world, dined in the best places, leased the most gorgeous automobiles - you get my drift.  Then, over the next ten years, live within means and rebuild the credit to good to fair.  Bit by bit the credit cards will roll in again with horrific rates of interest, but it won't matter since the plan is to run them to the max and go bankrupt again.  Following this plan of action, in forty years, one can live the grand life and go bankrupt four times, even without being a $billionaire or inheriting a fortune to invest.  That leaves a lot of creditors in the dust and was certainly not the intention of bankruptcy.

In my book:  thieves.  Bankruptcy is a process when all goes wrong and a business needs to regroup or the costs of the failure will exceed the damage of bankruptcy.  When it's used as a planned business "process" it is pure thievery in my book.  You used someone else's money and you knew they would not get paid back - pure thievery.  It's the same as if you stole the trip to Europe and the leased car.

So, in my book, stack up three dishonest acts by Trump that I find ugly and not acceptable in my eyes as positive representations for a person leading the free world and managing my taxes:  four bankruptcies leaving creditors unpaid, Trump University (not a "university at all") bait and switch that swindled people of their hard earned retirement money, and the subterfuge surrounding the "support of Veterans," where the checks were cut on the day of the news conference.

Oh, I know, you can excuse all those character flaws as "good business" - good business for Trump that is.  You can if you want to.  Not me.  I consider them the mark of the man and why he is rich and powerful...some get there through hard work and honest dealing.  Some get there because they know how to win at someone else's expense.   You may admire such exploits in an action movie - but I don't in a candidate for the presidency.

Personally, I don't see any "mess" that President Obama is leaving that anyone needs to clean up.  I see a legacy that can only be made better by those that follow in his footsteps - not someone who throws the good away just to make a point. 

And I don't know anything about Trump's taxes or how he conducted business in general.  I know he found a way to change from investing in buildings to selling his name to put on the building instead - so when the project fails he takes none of the loss while benefiting from selling his name.  There's always a way to slide a buck out without taking responsibility if you are a practiced con man - I mean salesman.
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Wed Jun 01, 2016 3:47 pm

So you don't see the corruption of young minds perpetrated by Barak Obama, the most powerful man in America?

A new picture book for 0 – 5 year-olds comes out tomorrow (June 2nd) Introducing Teddy – A Story About Being Yourself. The back cover describes it as "A heart-warming story about friendship and acceptance, starring a very brave teddy."

"The transgendering of children is a central political aim of a very powerful transactivist lobby whose bullying tactics have silenced all debate. Transgendered children are prevented from growing up to become lesbian, gay or non-conforming adults, and they are condemned to life-long medicalisation and infertility. Cute teddy bears have no business promoting this massive experiment on kids to little children. This is propaganda masquerading as heartwarming bravery and truth."

http://www.transgendertrend.com/introducing-teddy-new-trans-book-kids/

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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Wed Jun 01, 2016 4:21 pm

Did he write the book?
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Wed Jun 01, 2016 4:31 pm

I was pretty shocked by anatomical dolls - and that was quite a while back - and that furor is long past.  It certainly had nothing to do with President Obama.  I am sure with two young daughters, he is quite conservative on their behalf.

I also had a children's book with graphic sexual photographs explaining all of life and how it gets here. I found it pretty shocking.  However, psychiatrists made great praise of it to help children grow up without hangups about life's natural processes.

Yet, all these "shocks" are from my own limited experience and evangelical upbringing as a child.  

I was quite shocked my first year in Key West.  The next two years were easy.

Children are far less bothered by this stuff than adults - and if we'd just leave them alone except for gentle guidance, they would be fine.

I learned the difference between boys and girls from David in his basement - we were both around five or six years old but he had older brothers.  We had quite an interesting play time that day and I learned a lot.  I think a book would have been wiser than David's explanation of things from his older brothers' perspective - including their language.

Again, it is my belief that children will find their way if guided rather than forced in specific directions.  If their family culture is strict, then they will get that training.  If not, they will grow up with fewer boundaries.
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Thu Jun 02, 2016 12:04 am

Diane, I share your views.  If one wants to find fault with some they will find it.  There has never been a President that served fault-free.  Leaders are criticized because they are leaders and take action.  Criticism is often related to political propaganda, i.e., tearing someone down to make the opponent look better and all too often they are lies.

Sex education when I was young was learned from farm animals together with conversations with other kids.  Some kids told about the bed-action of their parents that they witnessed in secret.  Any subject that was taboo became a subject that held the highest interest.  Then there was the peer pressure to "try it".  Those who claimed to have "tried it" were lying.  Some who didn't lie found themselves in trouble with a pregnancy that resulted in an early marriage.  There was no escaping marriage if a girl got "knocked-up".  Those so-called "Shot-gun" weddings were real.  The parent of the pregnant girl insisted that the boy take responsibilty for his actions and that meant a forced marriage.  There was also a cliche:  "You made your bed, now you must lie in it."  Divorce was something that applied only to the rich and that was not only frowned on, but considered a sin.

Change has occured with many cultures although there are still some cultures living by the extreme, i.e., honor killings.  Sex has and continues to be a driving force.  Promo ads use sex for appeal to a target market.  Although we have evolved, there is still more evolving to do.  Prohibition has never worked.  It doesn't matter if prohibition is made with products or sex.  Wanting what is prohibited seems to be a human trait.  Negative advertising can be a positive force.  "Don't touch - wet paint" will find people checking to see if the paint is wet.  When I worked for IBM, some of the guys got together and put a button on the wall with the inscription:  "Don't push this button."  Curiosity caused most of the employees to push the button.  Tell people not to read a certain book and they willl buy the book.  Retailers use key words that they know will enhance sales.  "Special", "Limited supply", etc.  I wonder how much of the deserved negative comments about Trump will become a plus just to see what would happen with him as President.  What happened to "Common Sense?
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Thu Jun 02, 2016 3:01 am

If you are right, DK, there is nothing to worry about. Parents can step back and allow the progressives to take over. This social experiment is going on here in the UK, too. A BBC radio programme that aired on May 23rd talked to a number of young people who are experimenting with hormones, much the same as teenagers did with marijuana in the 70s, the difference being that taking sex hormones causes sterilisation. 

The programme began with the statement: “This episode of Analysis won’t attempt to deconstruct gender, nor will it try to define exactly what gender is and where it comes from: what it will do is explore the concept of non-binary.”

Later, followed the casual admission of the key role of Tumblr in convincing young people that they are transgender. Listeners were cheerfully informed that “the internet is critical; the majority find out about it online” and that “perhaps the most important social vehicle is Tumblr, the site housing millions of micro-bloggers.”

So, there you have it, it's Tumblr to blame and not the president after all.

http://www.transgendertrend.com/no-analysis-non-binary-bbc-radio-4/

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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Thu Jun 02, 2016 9:40 am

I support the parental role as a critical piece of child rearing.  If more parents had the wisdom and consistency to provide good role models for their children, there might be less chaos in the world.  On the other hand, some of the most creative and inventive people come from disastrous backgrounds - and overcoming obstacles seems to help some people thrive.

Thus, getting from childhood to adulthood is not an exact science and varies considerably around the globe. Many parents appreciate their religious training for the concepts it provides their children. Others expect great miracles from the formal education system.  In some lucky families and cultures, large extended families and communities provide support for their youth and provide the guidance that their culture dictates.  Even so, many children turn out considerably different than the training would warrant.

I believe it takes a little of a lot to provide the education and experiences needed in childhood to cope with a child's changing development and with the world into which the child will enter.  I think a good dose of kindness, unconditional love, acceptance of differences and appreciation for diversity will contribute to living in the world of the future.

Today, much of what a child experiences comes from technology, in their own hand or the hands and video screens of others.  The best a parent can do is develop a solid relationship with their children so they can discuss what the child experiences and help provide a solid foundation to fit the various pieces of conflicting information into some sensible pattern.

As Abe said above, there are many ways of gaining information and its importance often relies on the culture and religion of the recipients.

Personally, my morals were shaped by the Baptist church:  no, don't, hell if you do, heaven if you don't, etc.  No dancing, no makeup, no relationships till marriage, only church on Sunday, no binkini, no modern music, no bad language, no homosexual acts (called queers in my day), etc. etc.  From all that, I had a pretty safe youth but my twenties when I left home for good were challenging with some pretty negative experiences.  The result of "no" for everything is the desire to experiment with everything after breaking free.

I thank my life every day that I broke free and was able to experience a lot of life I never imagined that challenged everything I knew and then some.  I learned to accept things in others that I wouldn't accept in my own life.  Acceptance was such a great thing to learn on my own.  Another was unconditional love for all life even though as human, I don't always exhibit that belief.

I learned that learning was constant and that I was imperfect and always would be, but I could learn every day and work toward becoming a me that I liked okay.  I wouldn't want to be anyone else but me.  I wish everyone that same choice.
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Thu Jun 02, 2016 11:09 am

Good post, DK.  Breaking free hit a spot with me.  I was destined to be sent to Bible School and to enter the ministry.  Instead, I joined the USAF.  My search for truth began while in basic training where I attended a different chapel service (denomination) every Sunday.  I wanted to know why they were wrong and that our church claimed to be right.  It was an enlightening experience.
It appears that my youth was similar to yours.  No dancing, no movies, etc., etc.  It was not a surprise that I wanted to try/do all the things that had been previously forbidden.  I admit that there were times when I got a guilt feeling, but that too disappeared with time. 
As for parental guidance, only those with children can fully understand the challenges parents face.  I don't believe there is a complete right way to raise them.  Once a parent recognizes that although they are brothers and sisters, they each have their own personality and their needs/wants vary.  There are times when a flat “NO” must be used if what the child intends to do could endanger their life or the lives of others.  Those “No’s” are respected when they include an appropriated number of consents.   As parents we recognize that they are part of us - our DNA and that they have similar urges/desires that we had at their age.  We also recognize that some of the decisions we made were bad and it is normal to want our children to avoid making the same mistakes.  That is not always possible.  Children as well as adults learn by doing.  We must allow them to make mistakes and even to fail.
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Thu Jun 02, 2016 11:41 am

There's a story about an eagle high up on a cliff with a fledgling ready to go into the world.  He doesn't want to leave the nest, but finally the mother eagle gives him a shove.  Down he tumbles while he gets his feathers in gear and suddenly, in the arms of the wind, he rises into the air, high above the cliff and his anxious mother - and it is in that flight that he learns anything is possible.

If we give children the opportunity to soar with possibilities while carrying with them all the benefits of unconditional love, they have half a chance in a complex world.  I don't think they need to carry our baggage from cultural norms but rather fly light and learn what they can from the world in which they will live - not our world.
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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Thu Jun 02, 2016 11:46 am

You both were allowed to grow up in a safe, protected environment. Then, as adults, you were free to go out into the world to forge your way. Your parents had done the best they could to instil strong morals, the difference between right and wrong, and empathy for your fellow man. You were never indulged, and were the better for it.

When children as young as five are being taught about gender differences and transitions from a boy to a girl and vice versa, parents are actually harming their children. Young children will close their eyes and say: "I can't see you, so you can't see me." Such an unformed mind should not be asked to cope with gender issues that even adults themselves cannot understand. Adults mouthed words that they did not want children to hear, one example is the country and western song, D I V O R C E, written by Tammy Wynette. Innocence today is lost, and no one knows what the effect of allowing children to adopt a "gender identity" will be in the long term. Things have progressed almost to the point where parents will ask the medics to perform a simple operation at birth if their child is born the wrong sex according to the parents' wishes "because it will make it easier for them to transition."

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PostSubject: Re: D. K. Christi's musings   Fri Jun 03, 2016 11:33 am

I think we have more to be concerned about in the future regarding choices for children. Technology is already available to make designer children. China used a low tech method to produce only male children - and now a certain age of males has a shortage of mates and the reduction in the number of births has made caring for the elderly difficult and there is a shortage of workers in some fields. So, messing with nature has its consequences. My understanding is that the Chinese no longer limit births.  I didn't even mention cloning...or the creation of artificial genomes. 

If it were not for the immigrants, the birthrates among original populations in developed countries have gone down drastically. It will be the immigrant populations that support the elderly since many two career families of higher economic status determined not to have children and as they age there are no workers to pay the taxes for caring for them in senior years.  It will be the young immigrant workers that pay the taxes.

Times and cultures change, whether by choice or mandate. Some is good, some is bad, and some only time will tell and I don't have a crystal ball.  My opinions are just that, my thoughts.

Surgeries have already been performed since the Chinese bound women's feet - as a part of cultures.  As cultures change, so do the things performed on bodies.  Plastic surgeons are doing better than ever with cosmetic surgeries.

I remember when I thought pierced ears on babies were a crime.  When my college roommate stabbed mine to pierce them with a cork and ice cube, I wished my mom had pierced mine as a baby!
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