| | On my dad's passing | |
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+4alice Shelagh joefrank Victor D. Lopez 8 posters | Author | Message |
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Victor D. Lopez Four Star Member
Number of posts : 984 Registration date : 2012-02-01 Location : New York
| Subject: On my dad's passing Fri Mar 11, 2016 8:25 am | |
| My dad passed away on February 22. He fell from his bed and died as a result while in the hospital for a routine, non life-threatening procedure. We had a mass for him last Saturday and I will eventually take his ashes to the cemetery in Spain where most of my dad's forebears are buried. His name was Felipe and he was the best man I have ever known. I am raw, but family, friends and faith are a great comfort. My heart is broken and will never fully heal, but I am so grateful to have had him in my life. He was the kind of person you cannot help but like, be drawn to, love. Throughout their lives, but especially in the past decade, my mom and dad have struggled with a large number of serious medical issues that had them going to the doctor often more than once a week. Wherever he went, nurses, orderlies, office personnel would great him with hugs, kisses and gentle pats on the back as my mom smiled complacently on (amused at the attention and my dad's sheepish smiles.) He was a lovable teddy-bear of a man with a huge heart--quiet, unassuming, and infinitely lovable. There was no malice in him. He was a fountain of strength and like many Spaniards before him (and unlike his son) was a true stoic. He suffered great pain, great sorrow, great illness, great disappointment, great adversity without complaint, doing his duty, inflexibly guided by his conscience. He modeled integrity for me all his life, and although I could never measure up to him in my own mind he loved me every moment of my life with all his heart, and I him. I am broken. I will mend, but will never be the same. He deserved a better life, some recognition, better luck, and a better son. |
| | | joefrank Five Star Member
Number of posts : 8210 Registration date : 2008-11-04 Age : 75 Location : Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA
| Subject: Re: On my dad's passing Fri Mar 11, 2016 9:09 am | |
| 3/11
Victor..
I am so sorry ...I feel your pain and please accept my deepest sympathy to you, your wife and your family..
Joe |
| | | Shelagh Admin
Number of posts : 12662 Registration date : 2008-01-11 Location : UK
| Subject: Re: On my dad's passing Fri Mar 11, 2016 9:19 am | |
| What a lovely tribute, Victor. Your dad probably could not have wanted for a better son; your imperfections were, without doubt, endearing to him. A perfect son would have made him feel that he didn't match up!
We lose the physical presence of our loved ones, but we keep them in our hearts forever ... and you are, and always will be, part of your dad. |
| | | alice Five Star Member
Number of posts : 15672 Registration date : 2008-10-22 Age : 76 Location : Redmond, WA
| Subject: Re: On my dad's passing Fri Mar 11, 2016 9:52 am | |
| Dearest Victor,
I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your wonderful father. This is truly a very sad happening and
comes to everyone.
We are left with memories and in your case, good ones.
Fortunately, grief does eventually pass.
"Like father like son."
You are a great honor to your father
My sincerest condolences. |
| | | Victor D. Lopez Four Star Member
Number of posts : 984 Registration date : 2012-02-01 Location : New York
| Subject: Re: On my dad's passing Fri Mar 11, 2016 10:35 am | |
| Joe, Shelagh and Alice,
Thank you for your kindness and condolences. Truly, thank you! |
| | | Domenic Pappalardo Five Star Member
Number of posts : 2557 Registration date : 2009-04-27
| Subject: Re: On my dad's passing Fri Mar 11, 2016 2:28 pm | |
| Victor, I took myself of this forum, but I read your post, and understand your sorrow. Churches don’t teach Gods written word, I don’t think they understand it their self. For thousands of years people have had their hearts broken over the lose of friends, and loved ones…then in time their friends and loved ones weep over them. I know God is a loving merciful God. When my father died I cried even knowing the truth of his condition in death. I told friends and family who have little understand of Gods scriptures, “I am treating my fathers passing like he is just away for a short time, and will be back.” God has made death very easy for those who have died. Ecclesiastes 9:5 is just one of many scriptures that speak of the dead…”Dead are unconscious, know nothing.” In this condition there is no thought, no dreaming…there is no passing of time. Jesus said, “Between the time we die, and he returns and brings us back to life, to the dead it will be like the blink of an eye.” All the dead will be raised up again to life at the same time when Jesus returns. They will all have a new body. A perfect body. What a joy it will be when we are again all together. Jesus says in time the former things will be forgotten. Just think Victor, you and your father will look the same age. What a feast we will have. I’m sure the wine will be of the best…The earth will be new as it was in the beginning. You will even meet family members who died long before you were born. I’m sure your father will show you off..”This is my son Victor.” This hurt will pass Victor. God has given us about 70 years, a short time to suffer in this, Satan’s system. Trust in God, he never breaks a promise. We do not have to fear death for our self or our loved ones…and yes, it still hurts, but that hurt will pass…God has promised it. |
| | | Abe F. March Five Star Member
Number of posts : 10768 Registration date : 2008-01-26 Age : 85 Location : Germany
| Subject: Re: On my dad's passing Fri Mar 11, 2016 11:03 pm | |
| Victor, I can't add anything to what others have said. I'm guessing that those of us who have felt the loss of loved ones have a bit of understanding of what you are going through. To say, "I know exactly how you feel" is false. Although similar, our feelings are unique. The loss of love hurts. Although one can be comforted with a future reconciliation, it doesn't erase the pain of the present. It reminds us of the need to express our love each day and not live with regrets. It is comforting just to know that those we love knew that we loved them. |
| | | dkchristi Five Star Member
Number of posts : 8594 Registration date : 2008-12-29 Location : Florida
| Subject: Re: On my dad's passing Sun Mar 13, 2016 8:34 am | |
| Such a difficult time for you. I'm glad you are surrounded with love. Be gentle with yourself as well. dk |
| | | alice Five Star Member
Number of posts : 15672 Registration date : 2008-10-22 Age : 76 Location : Redmond, WA
| Subject: Re: On my dad's passing Sun Mar 13, 2016 11:33 am | |
| - Domenic Pappalardo wrote:
- Victor,
I took myself of this forum, but I read your post, and understand your sorrow. Churches don’t teach Gods written word, I don’t think they understand it their self. For thousands of years people have had their hearts broken over the lose of friends, and loved ones…then in time their friends and loved ones weep over them. I know God is a loving merciful God. When my father died I cried even knowing the truth of his condition in death. I told friends and family who have little understand of Gods scriptures, “I am treating my fathers passing like he is just away for a short time, and will be back.” God has made death very easy for those who have died. Ecclesiastes 9:5 is just one of many scriptures that speak of the dead…”Dead are unconscious, know nothing.” In this condition there is no thought, no dreaming…there is no passing of time. Jesus said, “Between the time we die, and he returns and brings us back to life, to the dead it will be like the blink of an eye.” All the dead will be raised up again to life at the same time when Jesus returns. They will all have a new body. A perfect body. What a joy it will be when we are again all together. Jesus says in time the former things will be forgotten. Just think Victor, you and your father will look the same age. What a feast we will have. I’m sure the wine will be of the best…The earth will be new as it was in the beginning. You will even meet family members who died long before you were born. I’m sure your father will show you off..”This is my son Victor.” This hurt will pass Victor. God has given us about 70 years, a short time to suffer in this, Satan’s system. Trust in God, he never breaks a promise. We do not have to fear death for our self or our loved ones…and yes, it still hurts, but that hurt will pass…God has promised it. I am glad to see Dom back here. |
| | | Betty Fasig Five Star Member
Number of posts : 4334 Registration date : 2008-06-12 Age : 81 Location : Duette, Florida
| Subject: Re: On my dad's passing Tue Mar 15, 2016 9:38 am | |
| Dear Victor, I have been so wrapped up in my own problems that I neglected to read your tribute to your father. Shelagh said exactly what I would say to you. You, like him, are one of a kind kind person. My heart reaches out to you. Love, Betty |
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