Published Authors

A place for budding and experienced authors to share ideas about publishing and marketing books
 
HomeHome  GalleryGallery  FAQFAQ  RegisterRegister  Log in  Featured MembersFeatured Members  ArticlesArticles  

Share | 
 

 Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : Previous  1, 2
AuthorMessage
Abe F. March
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
avatar

Number of posts : 10309
Registration date : 2008-01-26
Age : 78
Location : Germany

PostSubject: Re: Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics   Fri May 29, 2015 11:41 pm

Being in control of any situation is often acquired by having the right title.  It can lead to savings and that translates into gold.
Next time you go shopping, i.e., to a car dealer and the salesman asks for your name, you say Domenic.  He will then ask for your first name and you say, "Mister or Sir as you prefer".  That sets the tone and puts you in control.  "Familiarity breeds contempt".  People who meet you for the first time like to establish control and that begins with intimacy - being on a first-name basis.  If after some discussion you decide that you like the person, you can choose to drop the formality and tell them to call you by your first name.
When I returned to the States after working in Germany for five years, I was accustomed to being referred to as Mr. March.  None of my employees called me by my first name.  When meeting new people, they were referred to as  “Herr” (Mr.) or “Frau” (Mrs.) until such time as one became friends and it was requested to call them by their first name.  On my arrival in the States, I needed a car and went to a car dealer.  The first two dealerships I visited the salesman asked my name and then led me around the lot calling me Abe.  It was unsettling to me for someone I didn’t know to address me in such a familiar fashion.  The third car dealer I visited the salesman called me Mr. March and Sir.  I was immediately drawn to that salesman who was showing me respect and I bought a car from him.  When the sale was concluded I told him why I bought from him and encouraged him to continue to treat new or prospective customers with respect.  He was grateful for the advice.
 
One doesn’t always know the background of the people they meet or their culture.  It cannot be assumed that the familiarity in the US is acceptable until that person has acclimated to the American Way of Life.
Back to top Go down
Shelagh
Admin
Admin
avatar

Number of posts : 12354
Registration date : 2008-01-11
Location : UK

PostSubject: Re: Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics   Sat May 30, 2015 4:05 am


_________________

Amazon Author Central: Shelagh Watkins
Back to top Go down
http://shelaghwatkins.co.uk
joefrank
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
avatar

Number of posts : 8176
Registration date : 2008-11-04
Age : 69
Location : Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostSubject: Re: Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics   Sat May 30, 2015 5:58 am

5/30
                  Abe..

                         I think that started in the 1980's ? I remember where I started working I was
stunned that we were told to call workers and even bosses by their first name, I didn't feel right
about it but I had to go along with it. I was brought up like this my Mother had a girl friend she
grew up with , I was told I either out of respect called her " Aunt Gracie," or Mrs. Heeriline and I
was taught this. My friend who passed away almost two years ago one time we were in some 
store or other place and the person there was taking down the info and kept calling him Andre
he gave this person the look of death and said: " My name is Mr. Ceval to you, I don't like you
calling me Andre, we don't know each other and were not related." You see he was brought up 
in Cuba before Castro in a society where respect was drummed into your head, even today I 
have a hard time calling someone I don't know by their first name....

                                                            Cheers.......Joe......... Very Happy
Back to top Go down
http://joseph-frank-baraba-artistwebsites.om
Domenic Pappalardo
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
avatar

Number of posts : 2557
Registration date : 2009-04-27

PostSubject: Re: Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics   Sat May 30, 2015 6:55 am

Shelagh wrote:


Why do you give that a thumbs up Mrs Watkins? All the kings, and Queens of England go by a first name? even their children.
My people are from Italy. It seems all the poor people of the world have very long names. Those in power have short names. It seems to me the poor are trying to look higher than they are by having long names. I was not requesting a title that would read, Sir Domenic Pappalardo as the poor would do, But Sir Domenic as the kings, and Queens of England have done even to this day.
Talk to the Queen for me Shelagh, and when I get my title of Sir, I will see you get a title, Lady Shelagh.
Back to top Go down
Abe F. March
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
avatar

Number of posts : 10309
Registration date : 2008-01-26
Age : 78
Location : Germany

PostSubject: Re: Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics   Sat May 30, 2015 9:01 am

Joe, I think we are on the same page.  I was also taught to use Aunt and Uncle before their name. 
Everyone has a title.   Imagine going to the Doctor and calling him by his first name.  In Georgia when I visited a new Doctor and the receptionist called me Mr. March, I was pleased.  Mr. is my title.  I remember my wife's reply when a women in a store called her honey.  She said, "I am not your honey.  My name is Mrs. March." 
There are still people in the village where I live that I have not invited to call me by my first name.  These are people that I don't want to be friendly with.  I choose my friends and/or they choose me.  My son who is a Doctor will often say, "Call me Duane."  However, when he is lecturing or in some other teaching capacity, he doesn't do that with the students. 
It is important to remember that we are in control.  Being respected is more important than being liked.  Giving respect to a person whether that be a boss, a teacher or any profession such as a physician is proper.  When visiting my brother and his grandkids called me Abe, I corrected them and said, "I'm Uncle Abe."  My grandchildren have never called me by my first name.  To them I am Opa (grandfather) and that is proper.  JMO.
Back to top Go down
harry
Four Star Member
Four Star Member
avatar

Number of posts : 228
Registration date : 2008-11-07
Location : Nessebar Island

PostSubject: Re: Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics   Sat May 30, 2015 12:25 pm

As everybody  knows there in the begin of the  Moby Dick is " Call me Ismail, " In the Bible Ismail was worthless drifter, so was a sailor aboard a ship, The master and his officers were always called as Sir. But when they were descended along the gangway ashore, the change came over them and they  then were just misters.
Back to top Go down
http://oceanrover.blogspot.com/
Victor D. Lopez
Four Star Member
Four Star Member
avatar

Number of posts : 984
Registration date : 2012-02-01
Location : New York

PostSubject: Re: Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics   Sat May 30, 2015 3:49 pm

Abe (Mr. March):

I'm with your son. Sales people use first names in a transparent (and pathetically obvious) effort to establish rapport. If you know I am entitled to an honorific (professor, doctor, counselor or at the very least Mr.) and use my first name uninvited it is a sign of disrespect whether done through malice or ignorance unless we are colleagues--or live in the same commune.

Titles, degrees, honorifics and most of all (egads, perish the thought) titles that connote that one is "of the realm" or at least favored by the Queen are especially odious in a politically correct world that indoctrinates us daily with the message that we are all equal, that anyone can be absolutely anything they want  to be (including, it would seem, the Queen of England) and that measures equity and justice by equality of results rather than by equality of opportunity. If you don't get into law school, it is because some privileged son/daughter of an alumnus stole your place, or because society is racist/sexist/homophobic/xenophobic, or hates tall/short/fat/skinny people, or despises your religion (or lack of it) or some other equally handy excuse. Any excuse will do, really; after all, who are we to judge? The fact that you graduated by the skin of your teeth with a 2.0 GPA from feelgood U and scored in the lowest 10 percent of students who took the LSAT of course were just excuses used by the "privileged" class to deny you "justice". You are entitled to attend law school (with a full scholarship), to graduate with honors, and to a partnership in a top law firm the day after graduation. If you don't get it, there's always the consolation price (sue, riot or, better yet, do both in any order you like).

When society gives you  atrophy for just showing up to games, events or even birthday parties before you enter Kindergarten and then showers you with certificates of accomplishment for an endless variety of non-meritorious activities like, well, showing up, and then "graduates" you with all due pomp and circumstance at pre-K, Kindergarten, sixth grade, and middle school, by golly YOU MUST BE VERY SPECIAL. Indeed, you may well be since the word literally means something very different today than it did in every dictionary written before the Politically Correct Police made every word that makes anyone feel bad for any reason banned from our lexicon (stupid and nearly all of its many synonyms that all people of good sense always used judiciously if at all are gone, as are more useful but no less mean spirited labels like CRIMINAL, FELON, and EX-CON which make criminals, felons and ex-cons feel bad about themselves and easy to "discriminate against" when they try to register to vote or apply for jobs in which a modicum of honesty is useful and expected (like bank tellers, accountants, lawyers, etc.). Don't call them stupid criminals--they are ethically challenged special people. And remember, there are no more "crimes"--only "mistakes" made by the aforementioned.

I could go on at great length. But what's the point?
Back to top Go down
http://www.victordlopez.com
Abe F. March
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
avatar

Number of posts : 10309
Registration date : 2008-01-26
Age : 78
Location : Germany

PostSubject: Re: Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics   Sat May 30, 2015 10:55 pm

Thanks Victor for your insights.
Back to top Go down
dkchristi
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
avatar

Number of posts : 8593
Registration date : 2008-12-29
Location : Florida

PostSubject: Re: Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics   Sun May 31, 2015 6:21 pm

I remember when I was in my twenties and visited my southern cousins who were in the range of 12 or so.  They automatically called me, "Miss" - and we were relatives!  My friend's grandchildren all call me auntie or aunt which is an affectionate title for close, non-family.
Back to top Go down
http://www.dkchristi.webs.com
Victor D. Lopez
Four Star Member
Four Star Member
avatar

Number of posts : 984
Registration date : 2012-02-01
Location : New York

PostSubject: Re: Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics   Thu Jun 04, 2015 11:18 pm

Manners matter. That is something that, generally speaking, Northerners would do well to emulate from our Southern brothers and sisters. (And city dwellers everywhere, North and South, from country folk, again generally speaking.) Courtesy and respect are wonderful gifts that cost nothing to bestow on those around us and accrue great dividends both in our private and public lives.


Last edited by Victor D. Lopez on Fri Jun 05, 2015 1:49 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top Go down
http://www.victordlopez.com
dkchristi
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
avatar

Number of posts : 8593
Registration date : 2008-12-29
Location : Florida

PostSubject: Re: Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics   Fri Jun 05, 2015 10:25 am

I heard on the tv news this a.m. before leaving the house about a graduating class with 200 valedictorians - 200 graduates me the criteria for that label.  The reporter said, "that diminishes the honor when just about everyone makes it."

I think that whole this is worthy of a philosophical debate. Most of my women friends who have doctorates are never called "Dr. Smith," but always "Sally" or "Mary."  I try to make it a point to introduce them with their titles in places where I can get a word of introduction.  I think the titles and the respect of Mr. and Mrs. and Ms. and Sir do illustrate a reason for respect - and that's good.  Respect does not mean inequality to me.  It means the person reached a level of recognition for something and that recognition is worthwhile, even if they have only reached a certain age, thus the title "M'am" for madam.

Even our minister is Rev. Phil, rather than just "Phil."  However, everything has gotten so out of hand that I think we need some new writers of etiquette books and then it needs to be taught all the way through school.  Great - just what they want - another "soft subject."

However, a colleague of mine, "Dr. Marcia Taylor," teaches a hospitality course in which she prepares managers for the hospitality industry in proper etiquette from how to speak names with clarity, who to introduce first, how to dine, how to select wine, how to order a meal and pick up a check....our youth are not getting that information otherwise.  Etiquette is sort of a "no man's land."
Back to top Go down
http://www.dkchristi.webs.com
joefrank
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
avatar

Number of posts : 8176
Registration date : 2008-11-04
Age : 69
Location : Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostSubject: Re: Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics   Fri Jun 05, 2015 11:42 am

6/5

                  I remember a few months ago when I was at my Family Physician for my usual
check up and every once in the while they'll have a student who wants to be a Dr. work with
a Dr., we'll I wasn't too happy about this 19 yr old kid standing there and hearing all my health
problem ( Heart, breathing,) So my Dr. and I were sitting almost face to face and I like it to me
it's personal not like some Dr.'s they have their noses in the computer, he's 52..So he's talking
to me and this kid kept butting in then he says so Gary what do you think we should do ? My]
Dr. looked at him the first time then when he continued he told him : " To you my name isn't
Gary, it's Dr. Giblin, you should show some respect I'm older and you work here. I was taken
by surprise but he was right..

                                                              Cheers...Joe
Back to top Go down
http://joseph-frank-baraba-artistwebsites.om
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics   

Back to top Go down
 
Seeking an Antidote for the Poisoned Well of Modern Politics
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 2 of 2Go to page : Previous  1, 2

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Published Authors :: General :: Chatter Box-
Jump to: