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 I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring

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dkchristi
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dkchristi


Number of posts : 8594
Registration date : 2008-12-29
Location : Florida

I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring Empty
PostSubject: I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring   I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring EmptyTue Mar 10, 2015 10:11 am

Bamboo Ring is a story set in S. Korea that moves through the world with the adventure of travel in foreign cultures, a story of forbidden love woven through as a perfect life unravels.

Readers of Ghost Orchid will find the missing answers - the back story.

Let me know if you would like to write a brief review on amazon and if reading a pdf works for you.  Thanks...
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http://www.dkchristi.webs.com
Betty Fasig
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Betty Fasig


Number of posts : 4334
Registration date : 2008-06-12
Age : 81
Location : Duette, Florida

I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring Empty
PostSubject: Re: I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring   I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring EmptyThu Mar 12, 2015 12:55 pm

Dear Diane,
My Kindle has been laying there on my nightstand for so long it needs charged up.  I will do that and download Ghost Orchid and Bamboo Ring.  It will take me a while to read them both, but I will review when I am finished reading.  I will read Bamboo Ring first and then re-read Ghost Orchid.  Is that a good plan?  I wish I could zap you famous but my wand is not working so well lately. 

Love,
Betty
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http://woofferwood.webs.com/
Betty Fasig
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Betty Fasig


Number of posts : 4334
Registration date : 2008-06-12
Age : 81
Location : Duette, Florida

I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring Empty
PostSubject: Re: I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring   I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring EmptySun Mar 15, 2015 3:11 pm

Dear Diane,
I have downloaded Bamboo Ring.  I looked at your page on Amazon.  You are one talented author.  I will look for my Ghost Orchid copy.  Love, Betty
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Abe F. March
Five Star Member
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Abe F. March


Number of posts : 10768
Registration date : 2008-01-26
Age : 85
Location : Germany

I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring Empty
PostSubject: Re: I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring   I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring EmptySun Mar 15, 2015 11:29 pm

Bamboo Ring is an exciting story.  It is revealing in ways that can only be understood by reading. 
Look forward to reading Betty's review when she is finished.
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dkchristi
Five Star Member
Five Star Member
dkchristi


Number of posts : 8594
Registration date : 2008-12-29
Location : Florida

I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring Empty
PostSubject: Re: I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring   I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring EmptyMon Mar 16, 2015 10:10 am

I am honored that you have chosen to read Bamboo Ring.  Would you be willing to post your reviews at Amazon.com with Ann's?  Thank you!
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http://www.dkchristi.webs.com
Betty Fasig
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Betty Fasig


Number of posts : 4334
Registration date : 2008-06-12
Age : 81
Location : Duette, Florida

I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring Empty
PostSubject: Re: I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring   I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring EmptyThu Apr 02, 2015 12:43 pm

Dear DK,
I am still reading.  I would like to say that you are some kind of wonderful as a writer.  I am loving the book!
Love,
Betty
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dkchristi
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dkchristi


Number of posts : 8594
Registration date : 2008-12-29
Location : Florida

I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring Empty
PostSubject: Re: I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring   I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring EmptyThu Apr 02, 2015 2:45 pm

Thank you again for your kind words.  I am glad you are enjoying the read!
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http://www.dkchristi.webs.com
Betty Fasig
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Betty Fasig


Number of posts : 4334
Registration date : 2008-06-12
Age : 81
Location : Duette, Florida

I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring Empty
PostSubject: Re: I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring   I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 4:45 pm

Dear Diane,
I have posted  your review.  I think you are wonderful as a writer and a person and a news journalist.  Here is the review.  I am not good at reviews...I did love your book.

DK Christi has written a book in beautiful language.  She does not need to be sexually explicit to tell the story.  Her language is that great, her details that precise, her understanding of her subject that inclusive.  I have read a lot of books that, to me, are trash because  they try to cash in on the baseness of humanity.  I loved the story. It is a story that many women find themselves living if they are married to men in the military.  Often they are the lost.  I really loved the honesty of this book.
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dkchristi
Five Star Member
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dkchristi


Number of posts : 8594
Registration date : 2008-12-29
Location : Florida

I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring Empty
PostSubject: Re: I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring   I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring EmptyTue Apr 14, 2015 7:20 pm

Thank you for the lovely review - and for enjoying Bamboo Ring - understanding the real story.
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http://www.dkchristi.webs.com
Domenic Pappalardo
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Domenic Pappalardo


Number of posts : 2557
Registration date : 2009-04-27

I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring Empty
PostSubject: Re: I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring   I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring EmptyTue Apr 14, 2015 9:02 pm

I read chapter one of Bamboo Ring. You have a problem. This may sound harsh, but I think you want to hear how a reader sees it.

To start off; you tell too much. This is going that way, and that is falling this way, wet hair etc,etc…I thought they were on a ship until I got down to the part where whatever his name was is at the helm…then I knew they were on a small pleasure craft of sorts. You talk about all the stuff flying around inside the boat…at first it sounds like they are on a big ship. I would cut 60% of all that out. Build a picture of the small boat, and the big storm.

I see the book is in print...that makes changing anything a problem. Did the publisher not read the story before it went to press? If you can, I would pull the book, and do a rewrite. I only read chapter one, so I don’t know the condition of the rest of the book. From what I read I think you have a good story, but it needs to be edited. I’d cut a lot of the stuff before chapter one…none of that helps the story. A reader does not care about the thanks you give to all your family, and friends. In simple terms, cut it to the bone. Keep it tight. Less is better. The more you tell, the less imagination the reader is allowed to use; and that is what reading is about…setting the imagination on fire.

There are some on this forum that will call me a jerk for posting the above; but I like you, and I think you have a good story it just need some help. The one person on the forum who helped me the most was Shelagh…You should ask her to read the first page of your story…
I feel bad that this sounds harsh.
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Abe F. March
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Abe F. March


Number of posts : 10768
Registration date : 2008-01-26
Age : 85
Location : Germany

I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring Empty
PostSubject: Re: I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring   I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring EmptyWed Apr 15, 2015 5:13 am

Domenic, I for one appreciate your honesty.  Getting honest feedback is more constructive than telling people what they want to hear.  I agree that less is better.  Knowing what to cut is difficult and requires a disinterested person to see what the writer can't.  Some see editing only as grammar.  Although spelling and word structure is important, the story must grab the reader and challenge the reader to read between the lines.  Giving the reader a mental picture is necessary and a good description woven into the story can reveal much.  Too much description is boring and takes away from the story.  My comments are general and not related to any particular story.  I have favorite authors.  Dan Brown is one of them and Don Stephens is another.
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Domenic Pappalardo
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Domenic Pappalardo


Number of posts : 2557
Registration date : 2009-04-27

I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring Empty
PostSubject: Re: I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring   I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring EmptyWed Apr 15, 2015 6:37 am

Abe F. March wrote:
Domenic, I for one appreciate your honesty.  Getting honest feedback is more constructive than telling people what they want to hear.  I agree that less is better.  Knowing what to cut is difficult and requires a disinterested person to see what the writer can't.  Some see editing only as grammar.  Although spelling and word structure is important, the story must grab the reader and challenge the reader to read between the lines.  Giving the reader a mental picture is necessary and a good description woven into the story can reveal much.  Too much description is boring and takes away from the story.  My comments are general and not related to any particular story.  I have favorite authors.  Dan Brown is one of them and Don Stephens is another.

Abe,
I'm on a few other forums, but when I want honest feed back  I post on this forum. Both you and Shelagh have given me that.
You guys have given me some comments on parts of stories I loved, but; I take those comments knowing both of you are writers, but first of all you are readers. The first three pages of Naked in West Upton, I liked all three pages but something was wrong? Shelagh spent some honest time reading them for me, switched them around, and explained to me why. After reading it the way she arranged them, cleared up a problem I had been fighting for a year. I also like Dan Brown.  I was reading a story written by a guy in Cuba about Hemingway. Hemingway had a house there, and most of his writing, and notes are there for people to read. He would spend month on just one page. There was a women who lived there with him. He wrote notes on anything that had space. Many of these notes are in jackets of books. he often became upset with the women for her feed back,  but in the end made the needed changes. He trusted her as a reader. She was not a writer. The old saying is true, it takes many eyes writing a story. Some of his notes showed he was upset over some of her comments, and he called her dirty names. I am glad to see even those who know how to write well, have the same problems as we little people. But thank you for you comment to my post Abe. I do feel bad when I tell a writer about parts I feel need work. alj used to get mad at me for my comments...but I liked her writing, or I would not have made comment.
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alice
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alice


Number of posts : 15672
Registration date : 2008-10-22
Age : 76
Location : Redmond, WA

I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring Empty
PostSubject: Re: I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring   I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring EmptyWed Apr 15, 2015 7:31 pm

It's a thankless job,  Dom. Let them hire and pay for an editor.  Free advice is never well received.  
Carol T and Lane WR lost their friendship over book squabbles.
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dkchristi
Five Star Member
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dkchristi


Number of posts : 8594
Registration date : 2008-12-29
Location : Florida

I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring Empty
PostSubject: Re: I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring   I could sure use some reviews for Bamboo Ring EmptyWed Apr 15, 2015 7:46 pm

I appreciate the honest feedback.  Yes, it is published and under contract so that it "cannot be pulled back."  The book was read by many before publication, edited thoroughly, and cut drastically.  It is, in fact, a rewrite of a much longer work - rewritten based on comments from readers and critics and leaving out much of its own back story in favor of providing a prequel for Ghost Orchid.  I think it is more enjoyed by those who have read Ghost Orchid.  The "ship" in question is a 70 foot ketch rigged yacht, so it is a large craft, not a small pleasure boat, and it's crossing the Gulf Stream in November - quite dangerous.

Fortunately, readers vary in their choice of reading material.  I will never be a Dan Brown as the character is "the thing" in my my novels and I enjoy the poetic flow of words that may be skipped over in a first reading but sit there, waiting for the reader to return another day.

I hope you have the time to read the entire novel to the bitter end (a sailing term), but I do appreciate your reading of the first chapter.  Acknowledgements honor people in perpetuity and many famous authors do the same.  I took my lead from them.

As for changes to Bamboo Ring, the publisher called for the final manuscript and no more edits were possible.  Certainly, it could be tightened up a bit and improved.  There comes a time, however, when the publisher is ready and no more changes occur. Thanks again for your read.
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