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 Dealing With Aging Parents

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dkchristi
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing With Aging Parents   Sun Dec 14, 2014 6:07 pm

K.S. those are good thoughts.  Fear is a great motivator for unhappiness.  I know my mother helped my stepdad renew his driving license even though he could never drive again.  At least he had hope.

He hated assisted living and there was nothing we could do about it.  Eventually, his Parkinson's required nursing home care.  He wasn't happy about that either.  However, he was not happy at home before he went into care.  That's the part we forgot when we saw him unhappy.

He was just plain ill and no surroundings would change that.  Thus, we had to adjust our expectations regarding his happiness, do our best to schedule visits and try to bring him some vignettes of joy.

If there's a large extended family, then a calendar can spread around the visits so the person feels they have more company than just the same people visiting every day.  Also, church visitors can be enlisted to help.

In California there's an organization that will send visitors to help fill in the visit gaps and even take them for small outings.  I don't know if it's in every state.
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alice
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing With Aging Parents   Mon Dec 15, 2014 6:44 pm

She does not own a home--lived in an apartment for the last 30 years.  

The carpet was long since dead and the place had the nerve to add a $125.00 cleaning fee to her final bill.  She should have been refunded her original $75.00 deposit instead of being charged.

This dump is what she wants to return to.  I cannot understand her. 
The place she is in is beautiful, the food is delicious and organic.  They threw a beautiful
Christmas party last Sat.
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alice
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing With Aging Parents   Mon Dec 29, 2014 5:21 pm

Tah Dah!

Finally she likes her place--accidentally slipped and called it home.
Finally she said she slept well last night.  A huge improvement.
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alj
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing With Aging Parents   Mon Dec 29, 2014 5:26 pm

That is good, Alice. It has to be reassuring. When you know you are doing the right thing but they can't see it, it hurts.
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alice
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing With Aging Parents   Wed Jan 07, 2015 8:32 pm

I am  trying to get her to read.  So many doors have closed for her and reading would pass the
time for her.
I  took her the first James Herrriot book.
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alice
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing With Aging Parents   Thu Jan 08, 2015 8:12 am

She read the first chapter, hope she keeps going.
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alj
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing With Aging Parents   Thu Jan 08, 2015 8:16 am

We'll keep our fingers crossed.
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alice
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing With Aging Parents   Fri Jan 09, 2015 3:22 pm

Maybe  just maybe she is reading.  She hasn't called and complained today.  Thanks , Ann, We will cross our eyes too.
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alj
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PostSubject: Re: Dealing With Aging Parents   Fri Jan 09, 2015 3:24 pm

Like.
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